Time to be cynical again...

So tonight we went to DH's company Christmas party. We didn't go before because they allowed ZERO children, not even of the non-mobile infant sort. So, this was the first year we could go. I already knew it would be awkward and was already hoping they'd forgo the whole party idea in favor of Christmas bonuses. I was going to explain the party in full detail but I think I'll sum it up for you instead.

Do you know what you're sitting in the DR's office and it's crowded and there are people next to you and you feel like you should strike up a conversation but you really don't feel up to it? Yeah, it was like that. Only with undercooked chicken & drunk people everywhere. When I did try to establish rapport the effect was minimial and nobody laughed at my attempts at humor and ask DH, I am funny! DH and I laughed rudely to ourselves the entire evening and had a good time anyway. I mean, no one was mean but the entire evening was just.plain.awkward. Most people didn't want to be there, just like the Drs office. Only with door prizes. Here's what we won, and both the hat and shirt are matching in all their glory. rofl

*sorry, I made him keep the tag on the glasses so I can regift them later* ;-)

They should have stuck with bonuses.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr!

This was taken in our friends town just 2 towns over from ours. Our town wasn't hit nearly as hard. Their town still looks like this, 4 days later!

Baby laughing at the Wii

Or this one! Alright, time to go be productive. lol

If you're having a bad day...

Watch this video, you'll *have* to smile.

Chuck Norris is a household name for us now...

I don't know how or why the Chuck Norris fact craze started butI spent a good hour laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face reading them at Chucknorrisfacts.com. Of course when I did peel my eyes off the screen it made me laugh even harder to see the bewildered looks on my dad and DH's face. And when I tried to say them outloud, sometimes even intelligible, I cried even more while they shook their heads and tried to hold their laughter in. Resistance was futile though and soon enough all of us had tears rolling down our faces at such goodies as:

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.(I really want this one on a t-shirt lol).

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris. (or this one - rofl!)


Oh and there's much, much more! rofl

I love this guy...

Jimmy Fallon cracks us up!

Lip Synching Baby

I don't remember if I ever actually posted this or not. It's from our trip last April. *T* was about 16 months old.

Chuck Norris Approved

I laughed so hard at this I cried! A fist? Pushing the Earth down? BWA HAHAHA

Ron Paul on Homeschooling

Someone running for office, much less the presidential race, saying this stuff OUT LOUD is refreshing!

BTW, I'm still undecided between him and Huckabee, anyone want to help me decide? lol

Santa Baby....

OK - I debated whether or not to post this because it's a "santa spoiler" so to speak but if you're reading this you're probably either a) An adult or b) A child who typed in google/yahoo "is Santa real". Either way, you can probably handle the following. ;-)

If you are a "Pere Noel" believer you may not want to read any further, consider yourself warned. ;-)

Alright so most of y'all know I have an 8yo brother. Let's call him Ed. So my mom was curious if Ed still believed in Santa. She hints around about him until Ed says, "Mom, I haven't believed in Santa since I was 1 years old!" Cute right? You don't know Ed. He has these snappy 1 liners that make me laugh SO darn hard while at the same time glad it's not my kid saying it. LOL Eds father says "Well, who do you think the man at the mall is then?"

Eds reply was, "Some guy with a crappy job!"

Oh my that child is full of stuff like that. Like I said HYSTERICAL 'cause he's not mine. hehehe

Oh and check this out - who says all the fun in pumpkin pie is eating it? (sorry it's so blurry but you get the idea)

Some people have ants on the counter, some people have cats on the counter, I have an epidemic of diaper clad children on my counter. ;-)

What we've been up to...

Building huts, making the Nile River (and flooding it once a week), creating personalized cuneiform tablets out of clay, painting our very own coat of many colors...

...and that's just history!

Bible, Math, English, Map Skills, Reading, (our current favorite we're reading is Elsie Dinsmore).

Plus add in the daily activities, try-to-be-weekly field trips/playgroup & various other things. And we've been filling our weekends with friends, food, games, and laughter.

Unfortunately that leaves little time to blog although I do keep a running list of things to blog about. LOL

I think this year is our busiest yet but so far it's been the most rewarding, it just feels right ya know?

Hugs,
Jess

Pair-a-bullish

The other day I watched my newly 8 year old (!) daughter rummaging through the cabinets. I asked her what she was looking for and she said, "Mom, do you have any non-pairabullish food I can donate to Harvest for 4-H?".

"pera----what?" I asked, perplexed.

"You know, non-pairabullish, they have to store it for 2 weeks and so it can't go bad".

I tried so hard not to laugh in her face, she's old enough to get her feelings hurt so I explained that it was perishable, not pairabullish and we had a good laugh together.

I love that 8 is not too late for the cute things they say catagory. ;-)

Still the One... 10 years later...

You're Still The One by Shania Twain
(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after
all this time, you're still the one I love.)
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." ~Barnett R. Brickner

"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse." ~Doug Larson

Happy 10th Anniversary to DH and I! WooHoo!!

From baby to big boy...

It's amazing how much a pair of scissors can transform...

From my little curly mopped baby:

To our little man:

*sniff, sniff* but at least now they'll KNOW he's a boy!

Homeschoolopoly!

HOMESCHOOLOPOLY® plays like any other "Monopoly®" type game so most already know how to play it. The theme of the game of course is homeschooling! HSLDA is in the game so even if the Truant Officer sends you to Court, you can use your Get Out of Court HSLDA Member card. The properties are real homeschool companies (like Rosetta Stone, Sonlight Curriculum, Rainbow Resources, etc.) with information about the company on the back of the property card. Stacks of books (houses) are purchased for your properties with the ultimate goal of acquiring "Keys to Knowledge" (hotels). The most popular forms of Homeschool transportation make up the "railroads": Big Family Bus, Cool As Can Be SUV, Many-Van (get it?) and Wee Little Wagon. The money in the pot goes to "Field Trip!". Be careful or you might land on and have to pay the $200 Public School Tax where dad is shown shedding a few tears. The Grace and Mercy cards (Chance/Community Chest) are homeschool themed and very funny! You can see a few of them here along with some other pictures.

THE PLAYER WITH THE MOST TREASURE WINS!
Treasure – this word originates from the Greek word thesaurus
where the literal meaning is "a treasure of words".

HOMESCHOOLOPOLY® would also make a great gift for any of your homeschooling friends or a thank you gift for your homeschool support group leader or homeschool library contribution! And we've even included a bonus eight-page color Q&A informational brochure about homeschooling that is perfect to keep or give away to someone who is new to, or interested in homeschooling.

My apparent curse with cameras

I must have pissed a gypsy woman off one day by getting in the way of a good shot she would have had or something. Every.single.camera.I've.touched goes KAPUT. Well, every camera that's MINE thank goodness. I somehow manage to borrow cameras and return them in pristine shape. It's mine that get stolen, frozen, stuck, "errored", or just plain broken. *sigh* I think I was on my 6th one in 2 years and on the way to the pumpkin patch both my father and my camera broke. Yeah, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Thank goodness I have friends with great cameras, friends that manage to keep them for more than 2 months at a time.

Today I was wishing I had a camera. There were a dozen things, like usual, that had me reaching for an imaginary one but one in particular had me really kicking myself. My dad was showing me how my little long-haired chihuaha would go and retrieve the practice golf balls he was hitting in the backyard. Except Cocoa likes to chew them and didn't always want to give them back right away. I ran into the kitchen and cut up a piece of bologna and put it in a ziplock. I told my dad to reward Cocoa every time he brings the ball back and maybe that will help. Well, after the first time he gave him the bologna Cocoa wasn't interested in the ball anymore. LOL But when dad put the bag back in his pocket he's focused back on the ball. So, a few times it worked like that before the dog started to catch on there was a pattern to this. But apparently so did my little son, *T* who will be 2 in December. T started competing with Cocoa and he ran and got the ball and wnet to my dad and gave it back. After he handed it back he put his hand out and said "eeeeat? Eeeat grampoo!" (grampoo is grandpa). So, after verifying it was indeed good bologna with me he gave T a piece too. I would have loved to have a picture of Cocoa, Sheba (our non-ball-retrieving dog that just thought she deserved bologna too), and T all lined up in front of dad, T with his little hand reaching up for the bologna. LOL!!! Dad was joking the second time and said "sit" and T sat right down on command. Too bad it doesn't last much past 2 eh? LOL

OK so since the house has been on a bre@stfeeding theme lately I thought I'd throw the latest at you if you weren't weirded out enough yet (for those of you that aren't bre@stfeeding immune like we are by now)

Yeah, those are balls up there. She put them in and told T, "mum T, mum" (mum is baby-ese for "nursing" with T). T played along the first time, giggling like crazy. OK so we're weird but it's entertaining! lol

Cm'on, think of your best caption for that pic! lol

What could possibly keep all 5 kids happy and interested for an hour?

Yes, that's the washing machine. Hey, whatever works right? lol

Darndest things they say

Ow - ow - ow - ow - ow (said by me typing with a cut fingertip - serated knives hurt)

Ok so here's a small collection of the cute things the kids have said this week, in our own bizarre way.

At the dinner table: The kids are all stating to each other (again) where they were born (yeah, we're nomads). *I* who is now 4 pipes up to say excitedly to everyone, "I was born in a kitty bowl!". Errrrrr that would be KIDDIE POOL honey. But some people believe homebirthers would do anything I guess. lol

Our 10yo son, *R* and I were having a rather deep discussion in the car about courtship and marriage and the importance of being sure you are both ready and right for each other BEFORE making a big decision like marriage. I said as you get older life gets harder sometimes and you really need a friend in your spouse. He said, "like when you have children?". I said yes, I thought some parts of having children were difficult sometimes. He thinks for a moment and replies, "Yeah, I imagine it's especially emotionally difficult at times". WTH? Who replaced him with someone smarter than ME?!?! lol

Finally, this is where I may lose some of you. I've breastfed a baby for the last 10 years OK? Keep that in mind folks. It's like changing diapers around here, we're all sooooooooo used to it. In fact, when *T* weans it will be odd! So anyway I'm helping CJ (6yo now) get some splinters out of his hand. I said "Sorry baby" when I saw him flinch and he wanted to know why I called him baby. I told him because even though he's big he'll always be my baby. Even when he's grown he'll be my baby. He looks up at me and completely take me by surprise by asking, "So can I nurse then?" Er NO you cannot honey, you're way too big for that. To that he replies, "I promise I won't bite" Umm yeah, it would be disturbing if nursing wasn't the norm around here. LOL Oh and of COURSE I politely refused - that even creeps me out. lol

So that's it for the week so far. We are fighting illnesses again but we're at the end of it I think. We're tired of being sick!

Hope to write more soon...
Jess

This is amazing!

Raymond Crowe - A Wonderful World
I've never seen hand shadowing done so well!

T-Bone

OK - I know this is probably weird but lately I've just felt like posting various things that bring joy or thought to me rather than writing things. This song/clip is one of my favorites from "The Fighting Temptations" with Cuba Gooding Jr. I love this song and the people in this clip. lol

Bullying You Tube-- A Survivor's STORY

I don't know why but I became obsessed with watching videos like these tonight and I remember what it was like to be bullied, and what it was like to watch people being bullied and do nothing. And sadly, I also know what's it's like to be the bully. It's NOT OK! Yikes I wouldn't go back to those years if you paid me. :-(

"The Dress"

OK so my eldest readers will remember the dress I was sentenced to wear from one of my best friends wedding back home in NY. I fasted sugar, exercised more, changed my whole lifestyle. I didn't want to be that girl. I lost 3 inches but I was still bigger than most the girls but it really didn't matter. I felt great, was secure with myself for once and had a wonderful time watching one of my old friends get married in a very Christian wedding. It was a huge blessing.

I'd like to say I have pictures but I don't, not yet anyway. But I do have a picture of myself with 2 of my other best friends from back home.

"M" is the blonde and has been my best friend since we were 4 years old and we remained close until a few years back when life just took us seperate ways for awhile. We had a chance to reunite and bond and it means the world to both of us to be in each others lives again so fully. Her brothers were the ones I never had, I got to have dinner with her and her middle brother as well - great times! "N" is the black haired girl in the picture on the far right. She lost her mother last year suddenly to cancer and has dedicated her life to helping others with weight and nutrition struggles. She's amazing! And of course, I'm the brunette on the left, can you tell I was having the time of my life with them? They're like sisters to me. And I had just gotten back from a wedding of another girl who is like a sister to me, and her family who refer to me as their adopted daughter. I was never so happy to be back home as this trip. I felt like who I was and who I am was finally blended into one and all was right with the world.

Of course with a dozen or so socialization questions about homeschooling thrown in. ;-)

Hugs,
J

Hut!

Our littlest, practicing to be just like his oldest brother. ;-)

A typical day out...

The following conversation took place at the Post Office last week:

PO Worker: Hey kids, did you have a good day at school today?

Kids (a few in unison): We're homeschooled

Mom: *grimace* (plastering smile)

PO Worker: Oh, well, did you have a good day?

Kids: Yeah

Post Worker: What did you do today?

Oldest 2: We didn't do ANY work

Mom: *sigh*

PO Worker: (puzzled look)

Mom: Today was actually cleaning and errand day

PO Worker: Ohhhhhhhh did mom make you help clean?

Kids: (grumbling) Yes, we had to clean a lot.

PO Worker: Well, that's sort of like school then.

-----------------------------

Same Post Office, same visit.

PO WorkerHow old are you guys?

Kids: All giving their ages

DD7: And mom is...

Mom: (insert dd7's name here in a warning tone)

PO Worker: After women get to a certain age it's not polite to tell it to anyone

DD7: She's 29!

DS10: (to his sister) Next time just say "She's old".

Mom: *sigh*

---------------------------------------

And yes, I know 29 is young (even though in kid years I'm a dinosaur) which is precisely why I don't like to share it! Envision frazzled woman with 5 dishelveled children proclaiming they've done no work today. Don't forget there are 3 different hair colors in my brood, 2 blues eyed, 2 brown eyed, and 1 hazel. Add my age in and people probably start thinking they've seen me on one of Maury Povich's "Who's yer daddy" segments.

This was too great not to share...

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."

My brothers take on country folk

I have one brother. We'll call him "E" here. He's the best thing that came out of moms temporary insanity to leave NY and meet his father, we'll refer to him as JD for Joe Dirt. She met Joe Dirt in an recovery chat room. Yeah, 'nuff said. He sent her pics of him on his Harley with long hair and she was sold. She dusted off her soul she had hung in the closet years ago when she met her then boyfriend, put it back on and hightailed it out of there, hours after my wedding. What JD didn't tell her is that his motorcycle had been traded in for dozens of useless Scout parts that littered his drive and that his long hair was in actuality, a mullet. So there she was living in the middle of nowhere with JD, 2 dogs, and nothing but the Arkansas countryside. Her new favorite pasttime was running snakes over back and forth and laughing manicially. We were all pretty worried about her. My MIL said to me one day, "Don't worry honey, you know I will always be here for you". Even the in-laws were scared.

But after some long summer days in Arkansas the honeymoon was over. She came to visit me in Florida where DH & I were living at the time and told me the news. More surprised at the fact she was keeping the baby than her being pregnant at all I was elated! I had always wanted a brother, even if he'd be 1.5 years younger than my oldest child. ;-) She had him in Texas one bright April day with JD hiding in the corner and my oldest son and I there by her side. By then I was pregnant with our second child who *E* is 7 months older than. Anyone feeling like singing "I Am My Own Grandpa" yet?

So anyway *E* spent most of his life in Southern Oklahoma aka "deep country livin'", like you've stepped into a time machine and went back 30 years kind of living. My mom went back to work when he was about 1 and she's still with the same company and is really good at what she does. Last year she was offered a promotion which included a transfer to Ohio. She jumped at the chance of more money and civilization again and they've been living quite happily there, my brother and her. She's pretty much eradicated the hillbilly from him and what's interesting is how he's slowly forgetting anything about the South. I embrace the very things they are more than happy to leave behind.

So mom calls the other day and tells me out of nowhere *E* tells her, "Mom, I think *J* & *G* (dh) must fart a LOT!" My mom cannot see where this is going at all and asks what in the world he means. He tells her very matter-of-factly, "Well, country people fart a lot and J & G are definately country. So they must fart a lot. In fact, mom I hate to say it but well...mom... they're hillbillies, that's just a fact."

I can't wait to go visit the little creep and go all "Cousin Eddie" on him. ;-) Actually I just find it amusing. I adore him but yes, he's becoming quite the snob in his ripe old age of 8.

I'd take a happy laid back fartin' hillbilly any day. I bet Jesus would have hung out with hillbillies. ;-)

Why I haven't blogged much lately...

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!There's just no dang time with all these Disco Dancing lessons! ;-)

If you need a good laugh...

Oh my I was ROFL so hard at this!!! Mostly because for once it wasn't ME! But it very easily could be and has been often. Pokemon cards on sale at eBay - hysterical

Update on the mail situation

Today I actually received mail at my new curbside mailbox! WoooooooHooooooooo I got to sit at the table and sort through junk mail and stress over bills.

All is right with the world again.

Here's why I was so confused about the good ol' Post Office

The United States Postal Service (USPS) is an independent establishment of the executive branch of the United States government (see 39 U.S.C. § 201) responsible for providing postal service in the U.S. Within the United States, it is colloquially referred to simply as "the post office."

Read more on the Post Office and how it came about to be a monopoly here

Kind of like the Wal-Mart of mail carriers I guess? Only they apparently don't have to pay taxes.

Interesting stuff.

The saga continues...

Well, I went to the Post Office on Saturday. I stopped most of my shaking by praying ferverntly all the way there and then while I was on line. I just couldn't calm myself down. I have a very long fuse when it comes to flipping out, I don't flip out when most people do but for some reason this just got to me bad. When I told DH about my experience on the phone and all that he says, "You know something? I really like it when you're really angry and it's not at me".

OK, OK so I'm at the post office. An older kind woman asks how she can help me. She tells me to fill out a "resume mail" form and come back to her. I do this and she disappears to get my mail. 10 minutes later the woman comes back with a big stocky man. "Uh oh, I knew it coudln't be this easy". I asked him if he was the postmaster and he told me no but he was a superviser. He did have my mail in his hand *whew* and had me fill out a "I promise I won't let my dog even look at the pansy ass mailman" card and sign it in blood. Or something like that. I told him we installed a target for teenagers with bats curbside mailbox as we were told.

Next I reiterated the entire story and my disappointments with this particular office to the supervisor. He basically said in gov't speak that my regular mailman had no problem with us but this sub-mailman was terrified of dogs. Er d'oh - maybe we should pick a DIFFERENT profession?!?! I explained I wasn't trying to justify my dog scaring him and that I understand it's got to be a hazard with the job and scary but I didn't believe he conducted himself in a professional manner. Then I went on to say how both my parents were in customer service and the woman I spoke to on the phone should NEVER have gotten snotty and talked down to me. That I didn't attack her personally, I was just upset with the situation. He must not be from around here because he handled himself completely professionally and kindly. ;-) We shook hands and made peace before I left. I felt like a weight has been lifted.
Sounds all nice right? Well except for the last chapter hasn't been written quite yet. Mail was not delivered again to us today to either mailbox. We did recieve our follow up call from the government and I swear Eartha Kitt left a voicemail on my phone. She said they were calling about my complaint and that they called my local office on Friday but the Postmaster was away from his office and he still hasn't called her back as of today. Frustrating but at least they're dealing with problems as well!

DH and I have some various fantasies (as in we-wouldn't-do-this-in-real-life-so-back-off). a) putting a sensor on the mailbox so when it's opened you hear the sound of a pack of Rottweilers. b) a sensor that sings Snoop Doggy Doggs' rendition of "Who let the Dogs Out" or DH's idea: c) we just chain our dog to the mailbox so they can play chicken. ;-) WWYD?

Just another reason I'm registering with the Libertarian Party this year.

Yes, it's official, I'm libertarian. I am tired of the false sense of self-control living here. Today I had a prime example that the gov't can do whatever it darn well pleases. *sigh*

3 days ago my dogs went out back with the kids to play. Sheba, the medium sized one is especially not allowed out unsupervised because she figures out how to get out of the fence and the kids often forget. They're no longer allowed to have her out with them but after they came in I asked where the dogs were. They said they were out back (grrr) and I heard barking out front as if on cue. I opened the front door and saw Sheba under my van barking at the mailman. I immediately called her and she ran inside with her tail between her legs (she really is friendly & submissive, if you were walking down the street and called her she'd want to be loved on) RIGHT AWAY. I then looked at the mailman, crouched down and terrified with his hand on his mace can. I apologized profusely and told him she was all bark and no bite but that I was really sorry she got out. He was visibly shaken and just started yelling at me that "that was way too close, she was 2 ft away - 2 ft away". I again apologized and said it wouldn't happen again but he was still yelling so I just turned around and went inside. So 2 days go by and I don't get any mail. None. Not even a junk flyer. I'm beginning to get suspicious and today after no more mail again I called the local post office. They transferred me to a woman who told me that there was in fact, a hold on my mail. Be prepared to get upset folks - this gets bad. I was not the "turn the other cheek Christian" I should have been but at the same time, I did not personally attack this woman - keep that in mind.

So there's a hold on my mail. "How do I get my mail?" I ask. "You have to put a curbside mailbox in line with the curb for him to deliver again" I asked how I could get it until then, if I could pick it up. "We may allow you to pick it up once, if you're not hostile" she says. OK, at this point I became hostile. Let me reiterate I did not personally attack this woman or the mailman involved however tempting that was. I did though, get snippy about the whole ordeal and how it was being handled and their stupid policies. Anyone in customer service knows that you should handle the hostile person calmly and even apologetically as long as it's not personal, correct? That's how I have seen it anyway and both my parents dealt/deal with the public on a regular basis. My mom in fact is a customer service (sales and service) manager. I asked the woman how much a curbside mailbox would cost me (I didnt' know if they provided me with one). With a snotty tone she replied back, "I don't know, you have to go to LOWES or WALMART and get it yourself" implying a) I was an idiot for asking her and b) she didn't give a crap where I got it from or how much it cost. It was after that that I lost it, "So, because my dog got out one time and didn't bite the mailman I have to pay money out of pocket for this?". I was livid. I don't even remember the rest of the banter but I thought there was NO way possible that they could keep my mail from me.

So I called the government USPS hotline and guess what folks? They can!

Having mail is a priviledge apparently, not a right. Not just getting it delivered but allowed to have access to it AT ALL. They can keep me from my mail indefinately. It's up to the local post offices discretion according to the gov't agent. So it's up to my little towns corrupt office whether or not I'm considered too hostile to be allowed entry. And of course by now I'm sure that's how they classify me. I am LIVID folks, absolutely floored.

I'd like to bring the Pony Express back so this crap doesn't happen. Besides, horses could kick a dogs butt. *sigh*

So I have to wait 24 hours for my complaint to filter through to see what happens. The gov't didn't agree with the way the local office handled it so we'll see. But my husband and father are taxpayers in this house and how dare they refuse us service? Picking it up at least!

I do understand him being scared and I'm not justifying my dog getting out. I just think it's a sad world we live in when he can't accept my apology and reassurance that it won't happen again (or maybe even take a second to establish rapport with my dog). And the worst part of all of this was when I asked her why they didn't notify me of this mail holding she told me "We knew you'd eventually figure it out and call" THE NERVE!!! But the gov't didnt' say anything about this either. I just feel so frustrated and like they blew this out of proportion. I'm not the enemy, it was a mistake and no one was hurt thank God.

I'm going to try to be calm and let justice happen. But I am voting libertarian and I'm all for bringing the pony express back. LOL Hey, I'd get my mail sooner. ;-)

Road rash

So my 3yo (Jedadiah if you remember) is dancing around the living room at this very moment with the mop. She's singing, "My beautiful, beautiful girlfriend".
----------------

So I'm really glad I posted baby T's picture when I had the chance. Would you like to see what he looks like today? Still happy, still sweet, but he looks like a motorcycle stuntman I'm afraid:




My older 2 was helping him out of the van when Miss. Jedadiah decided to "help" by opening the second side door that the baby was leaning against. Yeah, OUCH. He landed face first onto the driveway. Thank God he is fine. The DR told us what to watch for and after his nap he was back to his old vibrant self again.

Found this guy on sale...

Oldest son stuck this barcode on baby T and as with almost everything, he thought it was hysterical. Can you believe how fast time goes by? My baby is 20 months old already. I'm usually already pregnant and puking hourly by now. I don't know what it's like to actually sit and enjoy this stage, it's been a lot of fun. I haven't felt sad about not having anymore which is my inclination that we made the right decision. I've even held 2 newborns and while I loved holding them I didn't wish they were mine to take home and love on like I usually do. They were perfect & gorgeous but something has changed inside of me. It's bittersweet but not painful like I thought it would be.

So this year I'm looking forward to doing more sit down work and field trips! I'm debating whether or not to start a co-op class. I'm still up in the air on curriculums and for now will continue to piece together what I have to make for a very eclectic learning experience for both the kids and I. So far I've used an old curriculum my aunt gave me called "Bible Footprints" (no longer in print as far as I can tell) for the kids Bible along with that book Leading Little Ones to God which I love. For math we'll continue our awesome & never disappointing journey with Math-U-See (get a free demo). My aunt has recommended a few grammar & phonics ideas and I think along with Explode the Code we'll use Easy Grammar & Daily Grams. I've also been using and really like Map Skills. For our history this year I'm going to try the infamous Story of the World. I didn't like it a few years back when I looked at it but when I looked again at Dy's house I really, really liked it.

Except a few random homemade flashcards and some of those SAMS Club workbooks that's our future year in a nutshell. Add some rich literature and some of the really silly fun stuff to read and I think we'll do just fine on our own. I really like piecing my stuff together.

Oh, I've had my oldest do some diagnostic testing for the "fun of it" (ha - he said his brain was exploding) and I was pretty pleased with the free testing online there. They tell you what you need to work on and what "level" he's at in different subjects. It's nice to have that as security for us so we feel like we're doing alright. ;-)

Well, that's it in a long winded nutshell. I feel much better writing that all out really, thanks! ;-)

So anyway isn't T just the sweetest thing?

Killing my snarky side?

Teasing - 2 : to tear in pieces; especially : to shred (a tissue or specimen) for microscopic examination
3 a : to disturb or annoy by persistent irritating or provoking especially in a petty or mischievous way b : to annoy with petty persistent requests : PESTER; also : to obtain by repeated coaxing c : to persuade to acquiesce especially by persistent small efforts : COAX d : to manipulate or influence as if by teasing e : to make fun of : KID

Sarcasm: Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwar&s- to cut
1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual

OK so our counselor wants us to stop all teasing and sarcasm in our household. Every.Single.Bit. Even the funny kind because he said it's usually not funny to at least someone. I'll admit it, I am afriad of turning into Ned Flanders to be quite honest. Or Stuart Smalley, "but doggonit people like me". haha

We grew up in NY. Sarcasm is a primary language. Yelling is the second language of choice there. So to drop all of that isn't easy. We were raised in it. We were in fact raised to mock people who weren't like us. So to become the very people we mocked is difficult. If that makes any sense.

==================

OK on a lighter note. Yesterday was my 29th birthday. The highlight of my day was being hired on to help clean for an apartment complex. It sounds silly but it really felt great to know they wanted me to work for them. And I actually enjoy cleaning. And it will be a quiet reflective time for me I think. And I may choose how often I work each month, if at all. I'm excited!

So we went out to dinner for my birthday and I asked DH's NOT to tell the guys to throw that nasty old sombrero on my head and sing to me. About 3/4 of the way through the meal I was absolutely FREEZING cold! I took the baby and went to the car much to DH's dismay. I knew he had planned to have them sing to me. So I'm in the van with the baby minding my own business warming up and reading a book when I see DH and the kids come out followed by an entourage of workers from the restaurant and that DARN SOMBRERO. I contemplated locking the doors and pretending I didn't know them but thought better of it and rolled down my window. They promptly placed it on my head, screamed "WE'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY!!!" and sang their loud rendition of Happy Birtdhay to me. The kids were absolutely thrilled and I swear I caught an evil smirk on DH's face. At least I wasn't freezing. ;-)

It's good to know you're loved.

J

Dry spell, Jebadiah, & weird places to sleep.

Yeah I think God's next plague for me was writers block. ;-)

So my adorable precocious almost-4-yo daughter with a beautiful classic name comes up to me today with a very serious look on her face. She looked at me very intently with her hands on her hips and said matter-of-factly, "Mommy, please don't call me &*$&* anymore, my new name is Jebadiah".


So we went to see a movie tonight as a family. We got back pretty late, it was around midnight and the kids had fallen asleep on the way home. DH and I carried the really little ones and directed the semi-conscious older 3 towards the house. I went around to tuck and pray and check on them in their beds after we were in for about 5 minutes. Then I realized I couldn't find my middle son. I asked DH if he knew where he was and he said he saw him come into the house and to check our room. He checked the playroom while I checked my room and the other bedroom and still no Middle Son. DH and I ran out front to check and there I saw him. When I get the pictures developed I will definately post them because there he was fast asleep in the driveway! Next to our van looking as comfortable as if he were sleeping on a cloud. After I took a picture or 2 I woke him up and directed him into the house. Tomorrow he will laugh hysterically at himself, he's a good sport.

I love being a mom, even with the surprises. ;-)

Feels like Egypt around here

At the time of the plagues that is. Lately it's been quite common to be sweeping or mopping the floor and come across one or two or three jumping frogs and toads. I don't know how Middle Son smuggles them in so ingeniously, I don't think I even want to know. I just know when he's coming back in the house he has this "I-did-something-bad" face on. But try as I might, I even frisked him once, I just can not find the toads/frogs! So, we'll deal with the occassional jumping creature, at least he's not smuggling in locusts. ;-)

OK so those of you that have known me for at least 4 years know what fun my Middle Son was as a baby. He liked to eat things. Especially things that weren't supossed to be eaten like pennies and medicine and carpet cleaning fluids. :-/ He also liked to climb high and too many times fall high. Oldest Son was like this too but he calmed down so much as he grew that it seems like a faint blurry memory. We have been to the ER with the first 2 boys at least 5 times combined. Probably more. My girls had their share of scary times but it was more natural things like ear infections & high fevers.

Enter Baby T. I'm not quite sure why I was given so many daredevil children but I'm not going to question God on it. I'm grateful for them all and love them more than anything but well, I am banking on a lot of gray this year.

The other night while I was cooking dinner Baby T and my 3yo were playing with the oversized rocks and gems I keep in a large coffee can. They like to sort them and count them and make up games with them. For some reason the scoop I have in there for the kids was a small glass bowl, like the kind you keep Betta fish in. You know that saying "Hindsight is 20/20"? Yeah, it's a bitch sometimes isn't it?

So he's standing on the chair with my 3yo DD playing nicely. I have my back to them cooking at the stove. I turn around to check on them just in time to see baby T fall off the chair with the bowl in his hand. I run over to him and pick him up and immediately see the stream of blood splattering onto the floor. I do what any self respected concerned mother would do, scream for DH (who has had prior medical training) to get in there. Now I'm good in emergencies, only if I'm the only one there. Otherwise I gladly give the medical reigns over to DH and I become The Nurturer. DH takes ones look and says he's going to need stitches, I try to make the room stop spinning. Thank God my dad is here because he was able to clean up the mess, finish dinner and watch the kids so we could go to the ER.

So let me fast forward through the waiting. We got great doctors and nurses for the most part. When they put in the stitches he cried but laid perfectly still. He was a trooper. Six stitches later DH is insisting I buy all kinds of pain meds for him at the store. I'm trying to tell him I don't think the baby is going to even miss a beat tomorrow but DH is thinking in terms of us adults and how much this would have affected us. Sure enough, by the next morning the baby hardly even mentions his "owie" and has adapted to use his forearm to climb up the playground instead of his hand. THey are simply amazing! The only time he gets upset is when we unwrap it to clean it he says "BUGGY! BUGGY!" because he thinks his stitches are bugs I'm assuming. LoL He really is a trooper.

When we followed up with the DR the first thing he said was "So this little guy is giving you a run for your money eh?" and I told him if he was anything like his brothers he hasn't seen the last of him.

Why this child will never have a diaper rash...

Baby T is changed more often than any of my other children were. Is it because I finally got my act together and realize the minute he's dirty? Nope, that's not it. It's because the child has a strange fascination with p*op (edited to keep the pervies away - hopefully). Every single time he needs to be changed he comes up to me and I hear a slow whine:
Uhhhhh....ohhhhhh...pooooooooooooohhhhhhhhpeyyyyyyyyy.

But that's not it, the entertainment doesn't end there, no siree. When you turn to look at him he'll be wagging, ever so gently one finger with a rather disgusted face and more whining. And at the end of that adorable pudgy little finger is the very thing he's whining about. That's right folks. Every.single.time.

If he was my first child I'd probably be worried about future feti$hes and analyze the crap out of this. But, since he's our 5th we just look, wrinkle our noses, and laugh all the way to the shower for the 3rd time that day.

OK - more than you ever wanted to know I'm sure. The saddest thing about it is I'm really wanting to videotape it - I've become rather desensitized.

Why I've been so quiet...

Grampoo's here!!!! The days have been filled with things like this:

And the nights have been filled with B-rated action & karate flicks, deep philosophical discussions, and the endless quest to find my father a cup of coffee that doesn't make him want to throw it in the clerks face. Yeah, it's a sore spot with him. ;-)

My wonderful DH got my internet hooked back up after I moved the computer to the living room. So, I'm here just too busy living to write about it for a change. It's a good thing.

Jess

You need to get yourself a few of these...

Good friends.

I can honestly say I have an overabundance of really great girlfriends. There isn't one that I'm closest too or one I go to for everything, there's a variety of very different type of women in my life. The woman I go to depends on the situation I'm in at the time. It just feels right.

When I first moved to this town I prayed desperately for just one good friend. Thankfully God is smarter than I and gave me lots of different ones. In high school I had mostly guy friends but I always had one best friend. The best friend cycled between about 4 girls growing up although I kept in touch with them all but for some reason, it just felt wrong to have more than 1 best friend at a time. I had to eat, sleep, and be together of every waking minute with the chosen girl. Looking back, it really wasn't healthy at all and most of the time more heartbreak was caused than joy. But that's just how it is growing up.

I have felt guilty a bit lately because I limit my childrens time with other kids. They play every Thursday at a playgroup with lot of other families and we do usually have lunch or get together with a family 1-on-1 about once a week or so. But I ixnay the best friend thing all together. They have favorite children for different things (football playing, philosophical discussions, fort building) but they don't have ONE friend they need to be with ALL.THE.TIME.

I realized last night that's OK! As I had a Mother's Night Out with 3 of my friends, 2 of which I don't get to see very often at all, I realized how blessed I am to have a variety. The dynamics are never the same. There isn't much drama anymore, hardly any gossip or politics. Just enjoying who was brought together this time. We laughed and laughed and talked deep things as well until 1am last night. I sat and listened and gleaned so much wisdom from them as well. They're all in a later season of life than I and I loved being able to hear both their regrets and their more positive choices in raising their children.

The best part of it all is I know it could be a year until I see them all again in similiar circumstance (we see each other during childrens activities more often). But that's OK. I know we'll just pick up where we left off. And it may never be just us again and that's OK too.

I love the freedom of healthy female relationships!

They're right!

Well, I was an only child for 21 years (which is first born right?). But I do have an 8yo brother now.

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Attention Homeschool Moms (and dads if you like to shop)!

I love this compilation of used curriculum sales sites. LOVE IT!

Ladies, please don't tell your husbands where you got these from. I'll deny it. ;-)

www.homeschoolclassifieds.com
www.homeschoolchristian.com/cgi-bin/used.cgi
http://www.usedhomeschoolcurriculum.com/uhc/index.php
http://www.vegsource.com/homeschool/
http://www.edexbooks.com/
http://homeschoolshopr.proboards37.com/index.cgi
http://homeschool.crecon.com/classifieds/classifieds.cgi
http://the-book-cover.com/cgi-bin/store/agora.cgi
www.homeschoolbid.com
http://homeschoolreviews.com
http://homeschoolenrichment.com/community/classifieds.cgi/
http://www.curriculumexchange.com/saxon.htm
http://www.homeschoolpotpourri.com/
www.thecatspajamas.com
http://www.greathomeschoolbooks.com/reason.htm
http://lamppostpublishing.com/bargain_basement.htm
http://www.homeschoolswap.com/index.php
http://www.thebackpack.com/
http://welovebooks.com/_discussion/disc_1_toc.htm
Even MORE links here: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8259/used.html

My Austin man

Shamelessly stolen from Dy.

You scored as Tilney, Your husband/boyfriend is most similar to Mr. Tilney of Northanger Abbey. Charming and witty, sometimes he confuses others with his satirical humor and outlandish statements. However, he has an excellent sense for the motives of others and therefore is very helpful to you. As a couple, you share many exciting experiences and laughs and enjoy constant camaraderie with those closest to you. Edmund Bertram 70% Tilney 70% Edward Ferrars 60% Darcy 60% Knightley 55% Captain Wentworth 50% Col. Brandon 45% Who is Your Jane Austen Boyfriend/Husband? created with QuizFarm.com

Cheesy...

OK again I'm just blogging a short entry. I can't keep my eyes open lately. Man.

So Middle Son comes up to me saying "Mommy, mommy! (DD3) has the PapaJohns cheese!" to which Oldest Boy replies, "Parmesian, not Papa John!"

I'm glad I have kids or I'd have nothing for ya. lol

Backfire!

Don't let me get away with not posting our drama this weekend with baby T. But right now I'm delirously tired so I'll stick with a funny kid story again.

Middle Son, "Mr. Mischief" is always getting into the fridge & freezer. He steals bits of daddys birthday cake, ice cream, anything he can get his hands on. It has become worse as of late so I picked up a fridge child lock Sunday night. I put it up, went to bed and DH stayed up so I could sleep in a bit. I was woken by Middle Son whispering to me "Mom, I saw what you got for the refrigerator! It's a good idea. I got the milk for (DD3)because she can't open it".

So apparently he's mighty proud that I bought something to keep his little sister out of the fridge. And he feels even prouder that HE can open it to help her out.

*sigh*

Darn that St. Johns Wort!

I'm finding it really difficult to be snarky lately. Darn happy pills. I think I'll keep the title though just as a disclaimer for when I *do* feel snarky again because I'm sure it will come eventually.

I bought a crate of Clementines last night for DH - today is his birthday (I plan on posting more about that later). So this morning the kids had some and my 3yo came up and sweetly said "Mom, can you peel this for me, I have half hands"

Different worlds

I was on the phone with DH on the way home from another LONG shopping excursion. *sigh* Remind me to talk about my 3yo and how 2 HOURS later she can still cry from the tiniest thing that set her off. So I'm talking to DH and he said he was on his way home already and would beat us there. The kids didn't expect him home so I decided to surprise them. My 5yo was up front with me and he started to say, "HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT?!?!?!" I stopped him (he *always* does that and said "Shhh I want to keep it a surprise". He looks at me really strangely and says in a very bewildered tone, "You want to keep the white cat crossing the road ahead a surprise?!" Wow we live in 2 different worlds sometimes. lol I told him that it was OK, I was thinking of something else and he could tell them about the cat. He looks over and says, "Nah, I want to keep that a secret to us". LOL

My grandmother. (PG13)

Oh my grandma is a 5ft 8 child. She was the only adult who would spend hours on end playing games with me and never complain. She actually *enjoyed* it. My mother and aunt whisper that there is something mentally wrong with her but I think she just never wanted to grow up and therefore, didn't. She has a lot more fun than most of us do and she never grew up to be an "old fart" or one of those "fuddy duddies" <---- her words.

She's very much alive today and she adds a certain spice to our life. I like to call her frequent faux paux's "grandma-ism"s.

I'm going to share a few random Grandmaisms with you. Some are stories, some are words, some are things that if anyone else said them you'd go pale and smack them. But g'ma is well, grandma. Set in her ways, harmless in that she speaks better in front of the kids, & very lovable despite the non-pc things that come out of her mouth sometimes.

So my first memory of my grandma saying strange things was when we went camping together Upstate, NY and she let one rip in the middle of the night and I heard her exclaim to my grandfather, "Ooooooooh Bud - that was a flabbergasser!!" My cousin and I could NOT contain our laughter for a long time that night.

Then I remember often as a child waking up to her singing, in her Edith Bunker voice (I'm not crappin' ya folks - she could be a voice-in for her!), "Ohhhhhhh what a beautiful mornin'... Oh what a beautiful day!!!". She was relentless. She just stood there at the kitchen window bellowing it out until my grandfather and I begrudingly joined her int he kitchen.

In Jr. High I had a friend come visit her house with me and my friend didn't want to get in the pool, she said it was too cold. She stayed with a towel wrapped around her on the pool deck. I was pretty bored with her not coming in and my grandma knew it so while my friend was standing there grandma just pushed her in, towel and all. Umm my friend didn't think it was funny. I still do. ;-)

High School. She drove me home from school somedays and we had to pass a house of one of my ex-boyfriends. She knew I was really pissed of at this guy and so she asked which house was his. I pointed to the house and my innocent, church going, singing grandma promptly rolled down the window, blasted her horn and gave him the finger. !!!!

That's when I got a clue that she was more fun then I had ever suspected. ;-)

When I was dating my husband I had to break the news to her that he was half Cuban. I didn't know how she would handle it. Her mother and father were strict Germans and honestly I'm not proud of some of my ancestry or what they did in the states. My grandma loves everyone but she has these assanine prejudices that you just can't get out of her head. So, I was a bit nervous when I told her. She already knew and loved DH but no one ever knows he's Cuban just by looking at him. She looked at me for a minute, pondered it awhile and finally said, "Well, I've never been to Puerto Rico but I hear it's beautiful". Clueless! That's one DH and I still use today. ;-)

So I'm pregnant with my first child and I came over to visit after the sonogram. "What does he look like?" she asks as if it's like a photograph. I couldn't help myself. I said, "Well, he was playing the bongos so we're thinking of calling him Ricky Ricardo" And she looked at me for a moment and shook her head at me. Yeah, she can dish it but she doesn't take it so well about half the time.

Oh - I almost forgot! In high school she gave me her car, put her ailing dog to sleep and moved to Florida after my grandfather died. Two weeks later, complaining of the intense heat she came back and took her car back from me. So it shouldn't have been a surprise the other day on the phone when she asked me if I could mail her back the hook latch she sent me. I wasn't doing it fast enough and she wanted something to do with her hands anyway. I rushed it out to her right away and when she got it asked if she started working on it. "Oh no!" she says, "My hands are too bad right now, It will have to wait awhile" *sigh*

OK so what prompted me to write this post? Another grandma-ism my mom shared with me recently. My great aunt in-law (g'ma's brothers wife) is from Great Britain (or somewhere around there). Apparently she has a British accent which is to be expected! My grandma was complaining to my mom on the phone that her brother put his wife on the phone and "...she still had that Limey accent". My mom sort of sighed (she's the most PC woman ever my mom, drives me nuts sometimes). My grandma wasn't done: "Yeah, I just don't understand why she has to talk like that! Like she's better than everyone else. I mean, this is America, learn to speak English!!!"

Anyone else see the irony in that statement? Oh my she keeps us all entertained.

*disclaimer* I love my grandma more than words. I take good care of her. I listen to her. I talk to her. I send her things. I genuinely love being with her. But man she's just plain nuts sometimes. ;-)

Testing 1...2...3?

DS9: "Mom, dd7 just took dads hammer and put a hole in the door" (how did I not hear this?)

DD7: "He TOLD me to do it!"

Mom: "So because he said so you did it?" (then to ds9) "And why did you tell her to do that?"

DS9 mutters to DD7: "I told you I was going to test you sometime today"

DD7 righteously: "No you didn't!"

Mom (leerily): "What do you mean test her?"

DS9: "Test to see if she would really do something really bad if I told her to... I'm going to test her 2 more times today"

Mom (with finality): "Oh no you are not!"

The Crafty Side

I'm going to take this free moment to post a craft I did last month for my mom. My children are out hunting lions in the jungle of Africa with rifles right now. Well OK so they're in the living room hunting the dogs with broken table legs. They get mighty creative when you take electronics away for a week! ;-)

So back to this craft. A friend of ours was bringing her stained glass equiptment and taught us all how to do it. I looked forever for a design and told my friend what I was looking for and she found this.

I did some things and changed the colors to represent Lung Cancer, which was the one she battled with. The ribbons represent the 5 years they tell you it takes to really be able to take a breath and say "I beat this thing once and for all"

After 12 long hours (a very entertaining story - remind me to tell you) and many cuts later this was the result:



And the really neat thing was she received it on the 4 year anniversary that we found out about the cancer. I couldn't have planned that if I tried. ;-)

Not exactly Moses but we parted something...

So yesterday I went to a craft store with my kids. I had a stepping stones craft session with friends that night and needed supplies. I don't usually even bat an eye taking my kids places. My middle son has an tendency to throw fits every so often for not getting a toy (we hardly ever buy things!) if he's tired. But even that's rare anymore. So I happily trotted into the craft store not knowing I was stepping into a nightmare.

It started out innocently enough. We visited the bathroom first. My 3yo dd decided to get upset way too fast that we passed the water fountains without allowing her to drink. I told her not to cry, that we could easily give her a drink if she just asks. She did and we took her back and all was right with the world again. In hindsight, I should have taken that minor tantrum as a clue. So we walked on and I'm reading a (fiction mystery) book about art pigments and whatnot so I took them down the art aisle and we spent some time looking at all the different styles of paintings and we guessed which ones were paintings and which were photographs. I told my 9yo how there was speculation about Van Gogh licking his paintbrushes and getting poisoned by the toxic chemicals in his paints. That could be a reason for his mental illness and odd perspections in his later works (halos around the stars in Starry Nights for example). We covered art right there in the store. ;-)

So things were going fine. We headed down the models aisle at my middle sons request and spent some time looking at planes, trains, & automobiles. We talked a lot and just had minor annoyances of being asked to buy random things Middle Son was looking at. I reach the aisle that has the things I need for the Stepping Stone.

I don't even remember how it started. But do remember vividly how it ended. I just recall at one point telling my 3yo dd (the first to throw a fit this time) that she was to get out of the cart NOW so we could leave. She took this as a cue to scream louder. *sigh* Let me tell you something folks. When you're the lone adult with 5 small ones there is no fast escape. I handed the baby to dd7 for a second so I could get dd3 out of the cart. Baby T did NOT like this one bit and proceeded to scream at the top of HIS lungs. It was starting to sound like a duet until Middle Son decided he wanted part of this concert. As I'm lifting wailing dd3 out of the cart and onto my hip Middle Son asks me if he could get a toy. A stern "NO" is all it took and then the screeching duo turned into a Trio. So I hoisted the baby back on my other hip, ignored my poor older 2 kids questions about buying what we had in the cart and started walking.

So, there we were. A sight to be seen. As the crowd parted (yeah, it was quite busy of course) and stared I couldn't help but think about Moses and giggle internally. Everytime I passed a concerned person (one that didn't have that "I've been there" stare in their eye) I'd say something like "I'm sorry guys but we just can't continue shopping if you insist on screaming" Just so that they'd know I wasn't kidnapping these children. I've never heard dd3 scream like that in public and combined with Middle Son (baby T calmed down the minute I took him back) it was just not a fun experience.

Thank God for natural herbs like St. Johns Wort that's all I can say! I had started taking them 3 days earlier and I could really see how well they were working. As I lifted the crying ones into the car I realized how embarrassed and angry I was. But, it was as if I was looking outside of myself analyzing it. I felt distant from the emotions. Distant enough to act calmly and rationaly, something I don't always do unfortunately.

So, after everyone was strapped in I explained sternly but calmly how I will never tolerate that behaviour while shopping. That even if the cart was FULL, we would leave it just like we did today and come home with nothing. I figured natural consequences were punishment enough. I have a feeling they'll be little angels for awhile in public anyway. ;-)

As for my 7 & 9yo, I later thanked them for being so calm and compliant and wonderful in such a difficult situation. It's got to be rough for them sometimes too.

So share your hideous public moments with children and make me feel better will ya? ;-)

Quagmire lives here

Today we visited one of our local rent-to-own-but-give-us-half-your-salary-in-digestable-bites-and-your-first-born-child-too-please places. Usually these places are full of polite but sleazy salesmen who would tell you anything to make a buck. And I can't blame them really, I imagine the pay isn't that great.

So I admire a sectional couch they had and here comes Bubba*, the snake oil salesman. I brace myself and plaster a smile and say hello. He asks if I'm looking for anything specific and I said we were looking for a livingroom set. What Bubba does next shocks me, instead or laying it on thick and making up some story on how this couch is magical and will make all my dreams come true he looks at it, looks back to me and says, "This couch really isn't comfortable. I'm not supossed to say things like that but I'm honest and it isn't." Eyeing him strangely I'm trying to decipher if this is a reverse pyschology move. But he's telling the truth, I sat down and it really wasn't. So we moved on to the next couch, and the next, and the next. Finally his boss comes over and asks what I'm looking for. We tell him and he said there's a sectional in the back. He starts to tell me to follow him but Bubba interrupts and says he'll take me. So, we go back and look at this piece of junk and on the way back to the front I whisper to Bubba, "Do you watch Family Guy?" He tells me yes and I say, "Your boss is Quagmire" to which he doesn't miss a beat and says, "He acts just like him too! I won't let him alone with the female customers."

Later DH came in to look at a few things and Bubba comes over to show us that $600 has already been paid for on this particular couch. So I say to Geo, loudly for Bubba to overhear, "OK so instead of paying 3 times as much in the end we'll only pay twice as much what it's worth" Bubba leans in to us both and says, "Yeah, pretty much" Oh the poor boy needs to find a more ethical job, he's a good guy.

So anyway on the way out Quagmire holds open the door. He actually transformed into the cartoon character before my eyes as he comments each of my girls on how pretty they are and winks at me. He even had the VOICE down!

I wonder if he had Barry White CD's in his truck. I think I caught him saying, "Alll riiight" as we left the store.

I couldn't take it anymore...

I woke up poor DH this morning rather unpleasantly. One of the other traps caught a teeny tiny mouse and we heard it squeaking. My 7yo DD was visibly upset. Even the boys were feeling a bit uneasy. I'm not a member of PETA by any means but I don't want to listen to anything suffer, it was really, really bothering me.

I let DH sleep as long as I could stand it then I went into our bedroom and placed the trap (mouse still in it) on the bedside table and as DH is fluttering awake I said, "There, now YOU can listen to it screaming because I'm not going to any longer!"

Not one of my finer moments but DH has been so sweet and tolerant of my tyrades lately. He got up, took care of the mouse and we've decided on a different means of ridding ourselves of the mice from this point on. *whew*

Outsmarted...

...by a mouse. DH came home with those hideous glue traps to finally get rid of the mice we've been having visit lately. Well, we caught one and then today we learned they are pretty darn smart. One took a bunch of junk it found around the house and laid it across the glue so it could walk on the trap to get to the seeds in the middle!!! We're amazed by that. I think DH may go for the $20 electrocuting trap next. rofl I'm kidding, I think.

So tonight we're driving home from a busy night. My oldest is in a good mood and he sighs deeply and happily from the passenger seat and says, "I think we should write a book" "About what?", I ask. "About our family. When we grow up we could all write some and put it together and bring it to playgroup and stuff to read." It's a good feeling when they're happy enough they want to share it with the world. :-)

Speaking of sharing with the world. Those of you that have known me awhile know that I have some difficulties with my middle son. The screaming in public fits are getting fewer and far between but they're still there, especially when he's tired. Well tonight he whined about "just wooking" (looking) at a video game. I told him we would go look at it after we were done shopping. So, true to my word I took him back to the video game aisle to just look. I was clear. WHen he asked if we could buy the game I told him no, we were just looking. He had a minor meltdown. I told him my usual, "I will talk to you when you calm down" and the other kids and I were having a blast playing this American Idol Karaoke video game. I tried to get him to join in but once his mind is made up that's it, he thinks of little else. So while I'm singing "Proud Mary" at the top of my lungs and dancing in the aisles with the other kids while playing this game he is VERY upset. After we were done and started to leave he got increasingly upset. I repeated that he never got things from me by throwing a fit. And that we were NOT buying anything like that today. I told him to ask for his birthday. But he was just overtired and throwing a fit. I've gotten good at not caring about being in public and doing what I need to do for my family. We checked out and he was reasonably quiet but still crying. As we left the store he started dragging the cart so I couldn't push it. My friend was with me and she pushed my cart while I picked him up and carried him to the car. It's a wonder no one called the cops on me for kidnapping some frantic child. lol I put the other kids in and sat in the parking lot with him holding him while he cried. It didn't help and I had to wrestle him into the car but I knew he'd calm down once he was in his seat. My middle son has never shown remorse for these fits before. So it was like a shining beacon of light, like angels singing and harps playing when we were driving a few minutes later and he said: "Mommy, I'm really sorry I acted like that."

My gosh he's growing up guys!!! He's growing OUT of it!!! He will be a normal functioning adult one day, I got a glimpse of that today. God will use his strong will for good. And I praise God for letting me see that in him today. It was the best gift ever. I love that guy so much. He's got a great heart but he's so much work sometimes the rewards are harder to see. But when they come they are huge like this. It was awesome!

OK - I'm exhausted! I'll have pics to post soon...

Oh, the question of the day is if there's a guy selling bonsai trees on the side of the road why would he have an enlarged framed photo of JFK in front of them? I swear sometimes I find the strangest people...

Dog days

For not being a dog person I have an awful lot of posts with "dog" in the title lately. I'm turning into my grandma.

OK the doggie purse thing has caused an uproar (mostly a private e-mail uproar - my friends and readers are mostly too shy to post for some reason). Most of my friends are shocked and appalled that I would even *think* of such a faux pas. So, in the spirit of friendship I was going to post a picture of me SLINGING my puppy but no one in my family would take the picture. Then my camera broke. An omen? Hmmm you decide.

I. did. not. buy. a. doggie. purse. yet. So calm down people! Enough with the "Have you gone MAD woman?!?!?!" e-mails. Please.

OK, I haven't updated on my puppies for a few reasons. 1) I just haven't been in the mood to put comprehensive sentences together. 2) I have been ignoring my household duties on the go lately a LOT. (I've been getting a lot of time for myself too. I think DH spidey sensed I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and he's been giving me LOTS of nights to go read or eat & laugh with friends or have some coffee and quiet) & 3) *Warning* the following is not even remotely snarky, funny, or positive Curly, the black Cocker Spaniel, did not make it through. My oldest son and I sat by its side watching him go through a very terrible death. :-( In fact, at the very end I couldn't handle it anymore and I told my oldest to come by me. Later he asked why I pulled him away and I told him I couldn't deal with the dog dying and he said "Mom, you should have left me there petting him, I could have handled it" He's growing up to be such a brave and wonderful young man.



So as therapy for my grief (although I was sad, it was the fragility of life that really shook me I think) I dug his grave. Wow I didn't know digging could relieve so much stress and negativity! I may write a book called "The Angry Gardener". I used a hand spade and a plastic drinking cup. Did a fine job if I say so myself. Shovels, we don't need no stinkin' shovels.

Cocoa, on the other hand (the Chihuhua), is FINE. The vet congratulated me on taking such good care of them both and said he doubted the outcome would have been different even if I had them in with him. At least Curly died on a warm bed with people that loved him.

Alright enough of that sappy shit. I'll post a pic soon of Cocoa, the wonder puppy, who likes to try to nurse on my husband - talk about a rude wake up call! He's my kind of dog - a cat without the attitude. And him and our older dog, Sheba, play so WELL together. Sheba could eat him without chewing but instead they play like - well - like puppies. He's the perfect addition to the family.

OK, so about cameras. My lens is frozen open - darn Oklahoma dusty winds! So if you guys love me and like my photos and ever want to see that White Trash Baby Daddy exercise tape I suggest you create a paypal fundraiser for Jlynn to buy a new camera. Alright, quit looking at me like that, I'll just buy disposables until I can get a new one. ;-)

Doggie Style

Mom: "I need to git me one of those doggie pocketbooks"

5yo DS: "Doggie purses? Do they have zippers?"

Mom: "Yeah, I think so."

5yo ds: (looking quite perplexed)"How do they open the zipper? With their teeth?"

Mom: (laughing my butt off) "No honey, the pocketbook is for me to carry the dogs not for the dogs to carry"

Oh they keep me laughing!!!

At least they're clean in the future

This morning I went out to the dining room where my 4 oldest had just eaten cereal. My 7yo DD excitedly said "All of us put our bowls away when we were done and we cleaned the table off!!!" I looked over at the clear but messy table and gave her a skeptical look. Without a beat she said, "Oh I mean we cleaned it tomorrow but not from today".

Ah OK, then tomorrow you can have that chocolate cake. ;-)

ROFL! Sanjaya spoof on SNL.

SNL Sanjaya spoof

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Smoochie Poochie!

This is what we get when we ask for a kiss from Baby T:




And this is what we get when we laugh at him:

So You Think You Can Dance - AMAZING ROBOT MAN

Thought this was pretty cool! And on top of it he's got scoliosis, an inspiration! :-)

Pet Peeves

I thought this was really funny (OK and he's not terrible to watch - lol).

Doggie drug deal

The puppies are hanging in there. We've been feeding them the Rebound electrolyte replacement VIA dropper every hour. They've had moments where they got up, they've both urinated. Then tonight they drank too much water on their own and well, I'll spare you the disgusting messy details. My husband said he wanted to clean the bathroom for me but he couldn't do it, it smelled so bad. Wuss. ;-)

Tonight I read and read about Parvo and ways to help them recover and we kept coming back to something called Parvaid. There were 2 retailers in my state so we call both. The one woman was a fellow NY'er and she agreed to meet us. So we set the puppies up with some warm towels and water (mistake) and lots of newspaper and head out. The kids fall asleep shortly after we take off and finally, at 10pm we get to our meeting place. We get off the highway and turn and we see nothing but darkness. Then, as we get by an overpass we see a car turn their lights on and off. Things were getting creepy. I never did anything harder than those "funny cigarrettes" as a kid but I was beginning to understand what a crack deal looked and felt like. As I head out of the van (with DH) with my money in hand I just prayed that no police drive by. And boy was I thankful I wasn't wearing knee highs and a mini skirt. ;-) Regardless, we sure looked suspicious. Them passing me syringes and vials and amber glass bottles of things while I'm handing them money they're counting by flashlight. ROFL

Thankfully they were nice people. Herbalist people. Herbalist yankee transplants, kindred spirits. ;-)

So, we're armed with some doggy herb remedies and feeling more confident that they'll make it through this. I am really, really, REALLY tired of nurturing and cleaning though. ;-)

I was feeling particularly snarky...

A young woman made a comment while I was walking with the kids in the store.

"Are they all yours?"

"Yup - every one"

"Oh (eye roll) I don't know HOW you do it!"

"Do you have any children?" I ask.

"Oh no, not yet".

"Oh, (eye roll), i don't know HOW you do it!"

Then I kept on walking... My kids are never paying attention enough to catch on so that's good. LOL It really felt good to give it back just once though. :-)

OK so I'd love to post later but to give you a summary... Today was the Great Flood of '07 apparently. We drove in huge lakes to attempt to rescue a car full of college kids (it was safe in our van - not in their Firebird). Then we found out our adorable, loving, beautiful little puppies we got 3 days ago have Parvo. *sigh* So we're self treating with electrolyte replacement force feedings through a syringe and giving them antibiotic shots in case of a secondary infection. Oh and lots and lots of love. Say a prayer for them. My kids love them so much and DH and I already do too. We don't want to have to say goodbye in such a terrible way.

I'll try to post some more later.

And you thought YOU were a good mother?

This is the group of friend *I* want to hang out with. Actually, my group of friends would do something like this.

This is just amazing to me. Wow. It's a little upsetting at first but hang in there, it's worth it I promise!

A definate sign you have lots of children...

Most of the time I still feel 17. Of course a wiser 17 but still youthful nonetheless. Then I pass by my reflection and secretely mock the pudgy woman with all the children attached to her legs until I realize it's ME. ;-)

We bought a 12p van a few months ago. The kids call it our "church bus". They like it because we can fit friends in the car now. I like it because we don't get tickets for speeding in a "church bus".

I snuck out to the grocery store by myself this afternoon and left the kids with DH. Much to my dismay the elderly gentleman insisted on bringing my groceries out to the van. It's not that I'm anti-social, I enjoy talking to people. It wasn't even that my van was messy, today it actually wasn't. But I just hate when they force me to let them bring my groceries out. It's a pet peeve - I don't know why. It's just awkward.

After convincing the gentleman that there wasn't in fact, any room for the groceries in the very back of the van he finally brought it to the passenger side. I went to help put the bags in but was shunned from that too. *sigh* When I opened the door he said, "Where is everyone?". I told him they were at home with daddy. He looked at me kind of funny and then said, "Oh, I thought you were with the group home!" LOL

That's in the top 10 list of signs you have lots of kids. When strangers assume you're toting around the group home in your van.