Snoopy's in the genes!

When I was in elementary school I wanted the part of Snoopy in the school play SOOO bad I could taste it! Almost as bad as when I wanted the part of Wendy in Peter Pan. But, my low voice didn't cost me the part of Snoopy because he didn't speak, just held up signs. I LOVED being the comic relief! I remember my mom putting my hair into pig tails dog ears. I even remember calling my grandmother and excitingly telling her I got the part! To have that excitement again over something so small!

A couple of weeks ago I read a 4-H e-mail that there was going to be a show in town for our county. In our 4-H group they were casting a Peanuts play. I asked my oldest if he wanted to be in it (the rest are Cloverbuds or younger) & he said he did. I asked which part he'd want and he immediately said "Snoopy!". Later on I told him I was Snoopy too, pretty cool. Well, he got the part because we're probably the only family up as late as the time that the e-mail came.

So, I had less than 2 weeks to get creative and make a Snoopy costume. I have a lot of creativity in my head folks but executing is a very different story for me. But, I'm proud of the end result:

It was cute and all but it was L---O----N-----G. And apparently the teenagers in officer positions thought a good way to entertain us all was to drink soda and belch into the microphone for laughs. I'm.dead.serious. Yeah.

I think this picture illustrates best how dad, the kids, & I felt by the time it was over:

So, being the corny folk we are (it really rubs off on the youngin's which is quite fun to watch!), I had to take this shot right before we left. He had gotten his tail stuck in the door and we all thought this was hilarious. Maybe we were just so happy to be outside again! ;-)

*No fictional dogs or real children were harmed in these photos*

**Please ignore how filthy my van is**

Have a great weekend!!!

A lake I'd never swim in...

I love burning candles. I especially love the tart burners. I take great pride in my home smelling like pine or cranberries or lavender. White cotton, Cucumber-Melon, Vanilla sugar, Mmmmmmmm. Sometimes I think about if it's really healthy but especially when we have guests coming by, or it's a lazy weekend in, I just love having a wonderful smelling home.

But there's one scent I wouldn't buy. Sewage. And yet, that's what my home has smelled like lately. Lovely eh? No matter how many White Lily & Rose tarts or Citrus blend candles I burn it's always a la sewage. Doesn't cover it up at all. Just makes the first whiff a bit tolerable which is great for say the UPS guy but friends, relatives, and US - no. Doesn't help.

We've also been plagued with odd stomach viruses. So once we identified a possible sewage problem my brave dad went to the great down under and found something we were afraid of. A lake of sewage. *sigh*

So, we begged our plumber to come out ASAP and he did, today. He was 3 hours late and acted like he was 3 hours early but he's still a welcoming sight at this point. He's a very matter-of-fact, laid back, thoughtful (in action, not in words due to the matter-of-fact trait) guy. He walks into the house and asks, "Sewage problem?" I tell him we think so and he says, "Is that what I'm smelling?". I could think of a dozen wise ass answers at this point but the man is our only hope so I said we thought so. So, he goes down into the abyss with my father who's already down there. You really have to picture this next scenario so I'm giving it it's own paragraph.

My dad is germaphobic & a neat freak. It comes in handy at times but being under the house is not appealing to him, even without sewage. He's armed with lights, plastic, and a Lysol bottle in lieu of bug spray. He's wearing full body coveralls (thanks *L*, he LOVES those), socks over his jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt over the coveralls, gloves, and a mask. And he's still freaked out. So he brings the plumber to the area where the lovely lake is. The plumber, bare handed, jeans, short sleeved shirt, casual as can be says it looks like sewage. As they ponder that the guy takes his BARE hand, puts it in the water waving it underneath. THen he scoops up some of the water, watches it run off and says, "yeah, there's definately some sewage in there".

YUCK! I think my dad wanted to hurl right then. But to him it's no big deal. That's kind of cool that the human species can adapt that well to their profession.

The good news is the leak is from our SINK in the kitchen, NOT sewage. A few months ago we had a sewage pipe repaired and the leftovers didn't dry up properly so when the new leak started a lake it stirred everything up. Lovely. I'm sure you all wanted to know this right? hehe

So, it was a-quittin' time for Mr. Laid Back but he's coming back bright and early. After some lime and replacing the cast iron old piping we should be good as new.

At least we found out why our heating bill was so high these past few months. Apparently the hot air was going through an unfinished vent and into the crawlspace. No wonder the cat liked being under the house so much!

I'm thinking about marketing a sewage scent tart candle, maybe plumbers would buy 'em. ;-)

Yoga with children

OK so I'm really, really trying hard to get into my best shape. Partly because I really want to be around for a long time and well, to be honest, partly because 2 of my in-great-shape friends want to take me to Europe next Fall. It's an awesome opportunity I'm thrilled about but not as thrilled lying on the beach in between those too. LOL Of course, I don't NEED to look my best for anyone since my husband has never stopped thinking I was beautiful but I really want to for myself and for my health.

SO... one of the new routines I'm adding to my day is morning Yoga. My original plan was to get up before the darling little ones and have my morning coffee & breakfast bar, do a Bible study peacefully at the table watching the sunrise and then do my Yoga routine before cheerfully greeting my children as they wake with a hot breakfast awaiting. Yeah, I watched WAY too much Nick-at-Nite growing up. Damn Donna Reed and the delusions she's caused me. *sniff*

So into my world of color, my reality. I wake up with the kids and drink my coffee as they enjoy their instant oatmeal and I read through e-mail instead of being productive. Then I remember the Yoga tape and pop it in. My older daughter wants to try it too so I give her the spare mat and away we go. For the first 20mins the kids played in and out of the room and left us alone pretty much. Then my daughter got tired and gave up. I was the sole yoga survivor.

So, I'm attempting the Downward Facing Dog pose and all of a sudden I peer down my shirt from the collar (you are supossed to hang your head) and I see my 2yo peering in from the waist side and he says cheerfully, "Mum?!??". Mum is our word for nursing. *sigh* Yeah, weaning is going well.

So... onto the mediatation series. HA! I've learned 2 things. #1 I am EXTREMELY good at ignoring the rest of the world and focusing inward. & #2 My oldest son (10) finally has developed EMPATHY! WooHoo I didn't think it would ever happen folks! I didn't think they EVER developed that trait! But, as my 4yo DD was screaming in my ear that the 6yo hurt her (this is commonplace and I promise you it's almost always not as bad as she says and no, I do not normally ignore it), my 10yo came to my rescue. He reassured her and told her to "leave mommy alone, she's exercising". At this point I'm lying flat with my eyes closed deep in focus and I hear my 4yo, "Is she dead?" Then comes the Peoples' Elbow (not normally involved in Yoga). My 2yo was the elbow culprit but doggonit, I kept focus!

So, that's Yoga for ya, mommy style. I think when I'm 100 and I'm doing Yoga peacefully I will miss the chaos of today. Or maybe it will be my husband peering down my shirt unexpectantly when I do Yoga in those days. LOL

Time to be cynical again...

So tonight we went to DH's company Christmas party. We didn't go before because they allowed ZERO children, not even of the non-mobile infant sort. So, this was the first year we could go. I already knew it would be awkward and was already hoping they'd forgo the whole party idea in favor of Christmas bonuses. I was going to explain the party in full detail but I think I'll sum it up for you instead.

Do you know what you're sitting in the DR's office and it's crowded and there are people next to you and you feel like you should strike up a conversation but you really don't feel up to it? Yeah, it was like that. Only with undercooked chicken & drunk people everywhere. When I did try to establish rapport the effect was minimial and nobody laughed at my attempts at humor and ask DH, I am funny! DH and I laughed rudely to ourselves the entire evening and had a good time anyway. I mean, no one was mean but the entire evening was just.plain.awkward. Most people didn't want to be there, just like the Drs office. Only with door prizes. Here's what we won, and both the hat and shirt are matching in all their glory. rofl

*sorry, I made him keep the tag on the glasses so I can regift them later* ;-)

They should have stuck with bonuses.

Santa Baby....

OK - I debated whether or not to post this because it's a "santa spoiler" so to speak but if you're reading this you're probably either a) An adult or b) A child who typed in google/yahoo "is Santa real". Either way, you can probably handle the following. ;-)

If you are a "Pere Noel" believer you may not want to read any further, consider yourself warned. ;-)

Alright so most of y'all know I have an 8yo brother. Let's call him Ed. So my mom was curious if Ed still believed in Santa. She hints around about him until Ed says, "Mom, I haven't believed in Santa since I was 1 years old!" Cute right? You don't know Ed. He has these snappy 1 liners that make me laugh SO darn hard while at the same time glad it's not my kid saying it. LOL Eds father says "Well, who do you think the man at the mall is then?"

Eds reply was, "Some guy with a crappy job!"

Oh my that child is full of stuff like that. Like I said HYSTERICAL 'cause he's not mine. hehehe

Oh and check this out - who says all the fun in pumpkin pie is eating it? (sorry it's so blurry but you get the idea)

Some people have ants on the counter, some people have cats on the counter, I have an epidemic of diaper clad children on my counter. ;-)

My apparent curse with cameras

I must have pissed a gypsy woman off one day by getting in the way of a good shot she would have had or something. Every.single.camera.I've.touched goes KAPUT. Well, every camera that's MINE thank goodness. I somehow manage to borrow cameras and return them in pristine shape. It's mine that get stolen, frozen, stuck, "errored", or just plain broken. *sigh* I think I was on my 6th one in 2 years and on the way to the pumpkin patch both my father and my camera broke. Yeah, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Thank goodness I have friends with great cameras, friends that manage to keep them for more than 2 months at a time.

Today I was wishing I had a camera. There were a dozen things, like usual, that had me reaching for an imaginary one but one in particular had me really kicking myself. My dad was showing me how my little long-haired chihuaha would go and retrieve the practice golf balls he was hitting in the backyard. Except Cocoa likes to chew them and didn't always want to give them back right away. I ran into the kitchen and cut up a piece of bologna and put it in a ziplock. I told my dad to reward Cocoa every time he brings the ball back and maybe that will help. Well, after the first time he gave him the bologna Cocoa wasn't interested in the ball anymore. LOL But when dad put the bag back in his pocket he's focused back on the ball. So, a few times it worked like that before the dog started to catch on there was a pattern to this. But apparently so did my little son, *T* who will be 2 in December. T started competing with Cocoa and he ran and got the ball and wnet to my dad and gave it back. After he handed it back he put his hand out and said "eeeeat? Eeeat grampoo!" (grampoo is grandpa). So, after verifying it was indeed good bologna with me he gave T a piece too. I would have loved to have a picture of Cocoa, Sheba (our non-ball-retrieving dog that just thought she deserved bologna too), and T all lined up in front of dad, T with his little hand reaching up for the bologna. LOL!!! Dad was joking the second time and said "sit" and T sat right down on command. Too bad it doesn't last much past 2 eh? LOL

OK so since the house has been on a bre@stfeeding theme lately I thought I'd throw the latest at you if you weren't weirded out enough yet (for those of you that aren't bre@stfeeding immune like we are by now)

Yeah, those are balls up there. She put them in and told T, "mum T, mum" (mum is baby-ese for "nursing" with T). T played along the first time, giggling like crazy. OK so we're weird but it's entertaining! lol

Cm'on, think of your best caption for that pic! lol

What could possibly keep all 5 kids happy and interested for an hour?

Yes, that's the washing machine. Hey, whatever works right? lol

My brothers take on country folk

I have one brother. We'll call him "E" here. He's the best thing that came out of moms temporary insanity to leave NY and meet his father, we'll refer to him as JD for Joe Dirt. She met Joe Dirt in an recovery chat room. Yeah, 'nuff said. He sent her pics of him on his Harley with long hair and she was sold. She dusted off her soul she had hung in the closet years ago when she met her then boyfriend, put it back on and hightailed it out of there, hours after my wedding. What JD didn't tell her is that his motorcycle had been traded in for dozens of useless Scout parts that littered his drive and that his long hair was in actuality, a mullet. So there she was living in the middle of nowhere with JD, 2 dogs, and nothing but the Arkansas countryside. Her new favorite pasttime was running snakes over back and forth and laughing manicially. We were all pretty worried about her. My MIL said to me one day, "Don't worry honey, you know I will always be here for you". Even the in-laws were scared.

But after some long summer days in Arkansas the honeymoon was over. She came to visit me in Florida where DH & I were living at the time and told me the news. More surprised at the fact she was keeping the baby than her being pregnant at all I was elated! I had always wanted a brother, even if he'd be 1.5 years younger than my oldest child. ;-) She had him in Texas one bright April day with JD hiding in the corner and my oldest son and I there by her side. By then I was pregnant with our second child who *E* is 7 months older than. Anyone feeling like singing "I Am My Own Grandpa" yet?

So anyway *E* spent most of his life in Southern Oklahoma aka "deep country livin'", like you've stepped into a time machine and went back 30 years kind of living. My mom went back to work when he was about 1 and she's still with the same company and is really good at what she does. Last year she was offered a promotion which included a transfer to Ohio. She jumped at the chance of more money and civilization again and they've been living quite happily there, my brother and her. She's pretty much eradicated the hillbilly from him and what's interesting is how he's slowly forgetting anything about the South. I embrace the very things they are more than happy to leave behind.

So mom calls the other day and tells me out of nowhere *E* tells her, "Mom, I think *J* & *G* (dh) must fart a LOT!" My mom cannot see where this is going at all and asks what in the world he means. He tells her very matter-of-factly, "Well, country people fart a lot and J & G are definately country. So they must fart a lot. In fact, mom I hate to say it but well...mom... they're hillbillies, that's just a fact."

I can't wait to go visit the little creep and go all "Cousin Eddie" on him. ;-) Actually I just find it amusing. I adore him but yes, he's becoming quite the snob in his ripe old age of 8.

I'd take a happy laid back fartin' hillbilly any day. I bet Jesus would have hung out with hillbillies. ;-)

Why I've been so quiet...

Grampoo's here!!!! The days have been filled with things like this:

And the nights have been filled with B-rated action & karate flicks, deep philosophical discussions, and the endless quest to find my father a cup of coffee that doesn't make him want to throw it in the clerks face. Yeah, it's a sore spot with him. ;-)

My wonderful DH got my internet hooked back up after I moved the computer to the living room. So, I'm here just too busy living to write about it for a change. It's a good thing.

Jess

Just got caught up on American Idol *spoiler*

And I guess it's sad how much that show can affect me. I cried real tears for Melinda. First when she went home and was SO overwhelmed by the support and then when she got voted off. I don't want to be rude, and in the off chance Blake or someone who knows Blake was googling and came across this blog I don't want to say anything hurtful or malicious, because I don't mean it that way. But Melinda and Blake are like Filet Mignon and Hamburger. They're both good and I would be happy sitting to either but there's a different expectation I guess is what I'm trying to say. Blake is fun, cute, energetic, young, creative, & entertaining. Melinda just makes the hairs on your neck stand up. She's that good. But I'm guessing a lot of the voters are youngish which would explain it. But I thought for sure it would be Melinda and Jordan and I'd bet anything so did all 3 of them. I know she'll move on to bigger and better things and I look forward to buying many amazing CD's. But she's the kind of woman I wish I could be and the kind of woman I pray my daughters become. Graceful, kind, humble, happy, blessed. I'll miss you Melinda!

OK - speaking of American Idol rejects (yeah, I bounce back quick haha) do y'all remember Mandisa from last season? Adorable, happy, outgoing Christian, she sang a Christian "Mary, Mary" song on the show in fact. I *loved* her. WEll, she's coming out with an album this summer - her song, "Only the World" is already playing on the Christian station. I can't help but dance when I hear it. Emily, you may not want to listen to it in public - haha. But anyway, listen to it at her Myspace site and click on "Only the World" if it's not the song playing. I promise you'll feel like dancing!

Based of the fact I was crying like a baby all during American Idol and I've been kind of snappish with everyone around me I'm guessing I'll be paid a visit tomorrow but an unwelcome wench. *sigh* It's kind of sad when you know it's coming and all your husband can think is "better get a last minute quickie in then". ROFL Sorry, TMI? I'm amusing myself.

The Southern Doctor

I couldn't take this plague any longer and I bit the bullet and went into the local walk-in clinic. This is the place that makes me feel about 2 inches tall if I have to bring my kids in and they find out they're not vaccinated. In fact, I'd take my kids to the ER rather than this walk-in clinic. But hey, I followed all the "rules" and I was vaccinated so I went in today.

I'm not a quiet person, by any means. I'm a typical NY'er, I interrupt you mid-sentence, I'm sarcastic, I make loud jokes and laugh at myself. Most of the time people laugh *with* me. Most people I know know me enough that I'm not trying to be rude, It's just how I am. I'm a people pleaser in fact, but I'm a loud one. lol So when I run across a meek and mild person, I just do.not.know.how.to.handle.it. At all.

The Dr walks in, shakes my hand, turns to the sink and washes his hands for a good 2 minutes. He turns around, sits on the stool and just sits there staring at me. Awkward silence fills the room and I can't take it anymore so I start relaying what I told the nurse. He stops me halfway through and says, "where you from?". Originally Long Island, NY I say. "What are you doing 'round here?" he asks. I pause, switching gears and give him the typical "we wanted to raise our family in a slower paced world plus we'd have to live on the streets if we still lived on L.I." spiel. He just listens and nods. Not a word. More awkwardness. He says he spent a year in Brooklyn and I decide to turn the tables and ask him how he liked it. He very quietly, off in his own world starts to speak softly about his time in NYC. "Well, we knew we weren't going to be there long but I realize the things I missed. Cornbread and beans. I'm real southern you see. I even had a black nanny named LeeLou. I missed the dirt roads and driving on the highways late at night and not seeing anyone ahead or behind, that's serenity".
If my head wasn't killing me I'd have found it really amusing. It's more amusing now on Ibuprofen relating the story. Who tells people they had a black nanny? lol He was a kind man although I never could figure out if he liked NY or not, or why he kept asking me why I was here. He didn't laugh at my jokes (but the nurse did, he was cool) so I had nothing left. I just related my symptoms over and over again. When he asked what the worst symptom was I told him it was my headache.

He sent me home with something for my nausea and something for my cough. Nothing for the headache - maybe he wants me to move back to NY? LOL

What we do for fun 'round hee-ar.

I don't know if I have more visions of Woodstock or those screaming Orc things from LOTR. Whichever, he had a B-A-L-L in the mud. Can you believe how big he is?





My older boys are too prissy to get dirty like the girls. The oldest was 3.5 when I put him in a tiny mud puddle and he SCREAMED his head off that he was dirty. His 1.5yo sister just laughed and splashed away. When we told this story he said "Yup and I still don't like to get dirty!" That's alright son, neither do I, most of the time. The 5yo boy did eventually get in but only when he thought no one was watching - he's funny like that. Anyway, they're all bathed, and watching "Night at the Museum" (again) and DH and I are going to try "Stranger than Fiction" with Will Farrell. Should be a nice quiet evening...

Do it for yer babys daddy

Dy and I were talking the other day about exercise, er...well... more like our lack of. I was doing great for awhile but I just could not get myself remotivated after illness and household disasters took place for a few weeks. I was venting to Dyan how I deplored the fact that every exercise video has a perky, skinny, perky, big breasted, did I mention perky, talkative, smiley, bitch woman as the instructor. OK, truth be told I don't know that I'd buy an exercise tape from a woman in curlers with a baby on each hip and a cigarrette hanging out of her mouth but I tell ya what, it was sure fun to imagine!

I do think one of these days in all my free spare time (<--- this is me living in denial/fantasy) I will make a segment or 2 of this video. Or at least some stills. We decided we would call it: Do It Fer Your Babys Daddy Say it with a southern drawl.

The "instructor" will be someone like me, fresh out of bed, hair uncombed, coffee dribbling from her lips. Stained t-shirt, ripped sweatpants, and a pair of ratty slippers (optional) will be the uniform of choice. I hope you're not the sensitive type because she's probably not a morning person so she may use the words "lazy" and "ass" a lot to motivate you.

Don't worry about keeping up because there will probably be no pattern. She may run off camera from time to time, ignore any off camera crying, yelling, or throwing of things, consider it background music.

Finally, there will be GREAT motivation factors. She suggests placing your box-o-wine between your feet and refill your glass every 10 sit ups! For push-ups we suggest having a page turner handy so while you're doing your reps you can catch up on the latest Nascar Illustrated copy. Oh and as an added bonus the tape will include a razor so you can combine shaving with stretching (yes, it's that time of year to shave again).

Oh and be sure to buy the censored version if cussin' is an issue. It's only about 6 minutes long as opposed to the 35 min full version but you'll get the gist of it.

Happy Easter week folks!

A token of his (hillbilly) affection

My 9yo runs into the house from outside and says, "Mom, I made something for you!" I tell him to wait one second while I finish the dishes and he goes to wait outside. This usually inantimate child is BUBBLING with anticipation as I come outside to see, what could possibly get him so riled up to show me. I follow him behind the laundry shed where I see a heart, carefully drawn (by liquid) in the sandy dirt back there. I'm a loser so my first words were, "Where'd you get the water? Did you bring the cup back inside" Yeah, I know - but I'd just spent an hour collecting silverware from the air/heating ducts and cups from the bathtub and so forth so cut me some slack. His little face falls a little and he seems hesitant to answer. I started to ask again, "Honey, where did you get the wa----Oh. That's not water is it son?"

"No, it's p.e.e - I had to go really bad and couldn't hold it so I made a heart for you!" He was back to full happy animation again.

Er, um. I fought EVERY bit of my mothers city-girl blood I have in me and I swallowed hard. I envisioned my child on a psychiatrists couch one day talking about how mean and unappreciative I am. So, I grit my teeth in a perma-smile and said, "Oh, that's really sweet honey. But next time, if you absolutely have to go outdoors, could you go in the corner or something?" "OK mom". And he runs off playing, happy and oblivious to my inner turmoil.

Please tell me my child will not be proposing to his girlfriend one day colorfully in the snow?