Good news & bad news

Well... the good news is Cocoa is back home now. He's hyper and cuddly and his old self again. What a relief! Vet says NO table scraps at all for him. We're still not sure exactly what happened. I didn't have to sell any of the kids to pay for the bill though so that's good. It was a very reasonable amount. ;-)

The bad news is that Middle Son *did* in fact break his arm. *sigh* Actually he fractured his Humerus bone up by his shoulder. The very good news is that they don't usually cast for this kind of break and since it's just a hairline fracture and not a complete break he'll only have to be in the sling. The fracture is aligned beautifully and the DR thinks he'll heal fine in 2-3 weeks - wow, the body is an amazing thing! Especially the unaged body. LOL I would have snapped my bone in two! ;-)

The even better news for Middle Son is that DR. H said he can go on any ride in the amusement park this Friday when we go. He was so worried he couldn't go on anything. DR. H said he may be a little sore but he won't injure his arm seriously unless he hangs by it, gets is pulled sharply, or falls far on top of it. This is good news since he's my rambuctious one. I wish I could give him Motrin all day long but I find that if I do that, he uses it too much and is sore later. So, the pain serves as kind of a guide for him on how much to use it. And it's not terrible pain, he's pretty much himself so that's good, he's a tough kid. I give him Motrin at night to help him find a good position to sleep in.

Would you believe that Middle Sons total DR bill (X-Rays included) was about HALF of my vet bill? LOL

Thanks for your thoughts & prayers!

J

Busy!!!

I've really reprioritized things in my life lately. I feel like I'm becoming more balanced and what I was created to be and less like I'm "treading water". so to speak. I'm focusing on the bigger picture first and the details next instead of the other way around. I'm spending time with people who make me better when I leave them. I'm also working part-time as an independent designer for Home and Garden Party <------- shameless plug

My husband tends to have what I call an "Eeyore" personality. He hates it when I say that so don't tell him but it's true. Most of the time I just feel like everything will be OK. It drives him NUTS. ;-) He mistakes my carefree attitude for not caring when in reality I just feel like I need to trust in God fully. So, I follow His discernment and if I get a red light I feel like it was for a reason. DH on the other hands will try to figure out what he did wrong to make the light red or better yet, bang it with a hammer until it turns green. ;-) Anyway, my whole point here is that DH changed. A couple of weeks ago he told me he felt like all these red lights in our life were there to point us to the direction God wanted us to go in. I got nervous for a minute thinking the next words out of his mouth would be that we needed to move to Alaska so he could be a bush pilot. But no, he simply felt strongly led to go back and finish school. A venture we had long given up on. I was so excited he felt this way and we looked into our life as it was and saw a clear plan. It won't be easy but it will definately be do-able. So, DH is finally leaving his work-all-night job (boy, that was killing me!) and working long weekends. This will only leave us $100-200 less than what we're used to believe it or not and I'll be able to supplement that with my new job. He'll be going to school during the week and I'll be doing my home parties/office work a few nights a week. And Wednesdays will be family night. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaking of my job, I love it. I detest the paperwork part of it but I love going out there and meeting new people and showing people the products. I love finding new dynamics and just having a blast with people I just met. I did my first party last week and we had hail the size of ping pong balls during it. How's that for distraction?! lol But we had a great turnout and lots of fun so I'm encouraged. I need to hire someone for the paperwork part and I'll be good to go. ;-) It's still a struggle balancing homeschooling, just being a mommy, being a supportive wife, doing the house stuff, cooking, shuffling around activities but it's a good thing. It's making me more self motivated and disciplined than I think I've ever been. It's definately refining me and my family, for the better.
So, check out my stuff. ;-) I'm in love with everything in the catalog. That's my direct link up there. If you wanted to do an online or catalog party you can earn FREE & 1/2 price items. Pardon me while I slip into my business suit. LOL
Oh, on other news my little dog, Cocoa, wasn't acting right on Sunday. Then he got worse. Vomiting, becoming rigid, not moving, cloudy eyes, drooling, extended stomach, whining. I called the vet and he met me down at the office (they rock!). They are keeping him a second night. We're not sure what's wrong but he's my lap dog, I have never been a dog person until now. I really miss him and hope he's going to be OK!
Also on Sunday our middle son (6) was playing at church with the older kids and fell off a field goal post onto his back. He was a bit shaken but seemed OK, jsut a little sore. This morning he said he was better and we couldn't see any bruising so we decided to just ice it and called it sore muscles (my husband was a medical tech in the Air Force and a civilian EMT so we're usually pretty good at diagnosing - even our DR says so. lol). But tonight he's not using it at all and he's really sore. So, tomorrow we are making a DR appointment, I'm praying it's not a break or serious sprain. Sometimes as parents you don't always make the right call and then the "mommy guilt" sets in. Why didn't you take him sooner? and all that stuff. But you just do the best you can, follow your instincts, and live and learn. So please say a prayer that he is just having muscle pain and it's not anything worse, we'll know tomorrow.
I guess that's pretty much it for now. We have a family vacation in 2 weeks to my cousins wedding. We're getting excited thinking about that. Life is so full lately but like I mentioned above, I'm trying to fill it with only the important stuff. ;-)
Hugs,
Jess

I thought I'd show you the "baby"...

Since it's been awhile. ;-)

Determination

Another camera bit the dust or I'd have pictures to go along with this post. So just use your imagination until I can convince someone in my family that it's a good investment to buy me another camera and no, I won't lose/break *this* one. ;-)

Anyway, point of this post. Our oldest son. He'll be 11 in the Fall and he has the classic signs of first child syndrome. He's responsible, he's authoritive, he's pretty compliant for the most part. But the thing he lacks that seems odd to me is maturity and self discipline. Or he did lack it. Recently DH took him to Boy Scouts (or as he likes to call it, Man Scouts) through our church. The very next day they were going on a camping trip. For 3 days, hours away. He had never even been away from us before unless it was with family or close friends. But I let him go.

I let him go. I have a feeling there will be a lot more of that these next few years. But by letting him go I've seen a difference.

The Boy Scouts are working on physical fitness. This morning, my thinly built son inspired me to write this post. He asked me to help him count while he did sit-ups. I said sure and we began. 1...2...3...4...5...

.........25....26...27....28...................

........40...41....42..... now the sweat is pouring off his brow.

50... surely he's done...51...52...53......nope! he's struggling but keeps on going.

62...63....64.... I begin to worry if he'll hurt himself but I don't say anything but to remind him he can stop anytime.

74....75....76.... he pushes through with no plans of stopping.

97...98...99... Ah, he wants to get to 100....100! Great job honey!

101...102... he's struggling hard now. "Must...*pant*...get...*gasp*...to....1..2...0... that's my goal mom.............. I bit my tongue and let him reach it.

118......119.......120.

After much water he goes back to the spot and begins his push-ups...

this is the stuff men are made of and it's amazing watching my little boy transform.

BTW, as I was typing he was copy-catting his 4yo sister to annoy her so we do have a long way to go. ;-)

The best kind of help

Weaning has been rough on me...

I thought I was weaning my son but truth is, I'm weaning myself. It was harder on me than it was on him I think. It still is hard. He's my last baby. Before him I was usually pregnant when I weaned and I knew there would be another sweet baby to come and watch grow. There's something about nursing. When I was young and naive I looked upon it even as a gross thing. Almost a perverse thing. But when I had children of my own I realized how ignorant that was. What a special and unique bond it is. God knew what he was doing. He creates hormones to both make baby happy and content to stay still & mama too. It's a strong bonding experience. On a lighter note, it's almost equivalent to that first buzz you get if you ever had drinking days. Everything is right with the world. On top of all that you get the satisfaction of knowing you are sustaining life. By yourself. I always thought that was a blessing and confidence booster! I can honestly say 75% or more of my nursing days were enjoyable once I got past the social mores of the world and became confident in the beautiful thing is really is.

When I had my first son 10 years ago I was embarrassed by breastfeeding, even resentful of it because it took me away from everyone. I went into the bathroom in public, dressing rooms, I isolated myself in other peoples homes. By the time my daughter was born I was more confident and nowadays I can nurse like MacGyver - just give me a blanket & my teeth - I don't need any stinkin' hands. LOL And you wouldn't even know what was going on. ;-)

So, it's been a journey for me, 5 children, almost 8 years long (I didn't start extended nursing until my 4th child). I've grown so much, I've been pregnant, with newborn, going to school, teaching school, but I've always been nursing. It's been part of who I am, what I'm used to. But, I recognized that for baby T and I it had become a dependency issue. And I didn't enjoy being just his food supply. He was actually rude to me unless I was feeding at times. And then he started gorging himself and making himself sick. So, it was definately time. And it was definately harder on me than it was on him. He's already stopped asking. Which partly makes me want to cry and partly makes me proud. It's bittersweet.

I think while I'm really reflecting here I'm realizing it's the first huge step for me of the process of letting go. I know there are going to be harder steps in the future. I just hope I always can be selfless enough to look past my own emotions and put my children first. When we're not mutually benefitting anymore from something it's time to let it go. Am I on to something older moms? Is it going to be this hard every step of the way?

Is it too late to say I don't think I'm qualified for the job? LOL

So anyway, all this to share a poem I wrote during what I call my grieving process. It's all just so final and I needed a way to express myself. Some of you may be able to relate.


If you fell down all I had to do,
was say one special word to you.
When it was late & sleepiness crept in,
One word and out came that sweet drowsy grin.
On those wee morning hours with just you and I,
That word always made you happily sigh.
Cold afternoons just before you would nap,
One word brought warmth and rest with a snap.
I will always cherish these moments, my beautiful son,
The moments you called on with the word "mum".
This chapter may be over in both of our lives,
But I will always remember & treasure, your sweet nursing eyes.

Great imagination...

My oldest is 10 and he has a quick wit about him. The kind of wit that's fun when other people's kids have it, but not always as amusing when it's your own. Especially when they're still in the stages of figuring out what's taboo and what "good timing" is. For example, when mom has asked you to go to bed 5 times, it's probably NOT a good time to play a practical joke. I try so hard to keep calm and rational so I don't crush his spirits. Lately I've really been trying to appreciate him and his humor and who he is becoming as a person. With 5 it's easy to just clump them together into one herd of children but they really are 5 special & unique people. It's awesome.

So today, when the stick-in-the-mud side of me grew frustrated that he brought humor into his schooling, the gentler softer side of me knew that it was time to loosen up and laugh. He really is a funny kid!

The following is a drawing (using Paint, he much prefers doing things on the computer) my oldest did when prompted to draw the characters of the story of Anansi the spider, a character from West African lore we read about in our Story of the Word curriculum today. The kids were asked to draw a picture of Anansi with a banana, potato, & a few grains of rice. This was my sons interpretation. He thought the potato he tried to draw looked like Elvis and then the rice grain he drew first looked like it had glasses. I thought the banana was especially good and he added the words to a song we used to sing all the time when he was really little.

Why I love TiVo...

This may not get me Mother of the Year (go ahead, click on it if you dare), but it gets me 30 minutes of peace and 2 hands which I desperately need in the morning for school. Just for the record, I never thought one of MY children (read that with your nose turned up in the air) would be like this with ANY show, or toy, or blanket, or other pacifying object other than myself. HA! So, unless you have more than 2 children, of have done this already yourself, I don't want to hear it. I could go back to the past and hear myself judge me! lol

I apologize ahead of time for my baby voice, the firewood in front of the TV, the laundry hamper (hey, it's almost empty), and the 1 Christmas item we did put up this year still on top of the TV. Alright, now you may watch, hehe.

And just to show you how much he gets into it:

I'm just glad although he likes that Oobi show, he doesn't like it as much as The Upside Down Show. I can't handle Oobi and it's stupid smacking sounds when it eats. I want to send Oobi to a country that resorts to cutting hands off for stealing. I'd make Oobi steal.

Road rash

So my 3yo (Jedadiah if you remember) is dancing around the living room at this very moment with the mop. She's singing, "My beautiful, beautiful girlfriend".
----------------

So I'm really glad I posted baby T's picture when I had the chance. Would you like to see what he looks like today? Still happy, still sweet, but he looks like a motorcycle stuntman I'm afraid:




My older 2 was helping him out of the van when Miss. Jedadiah decided to "help" by opening the second side door that the baby was leaning against. Yeah, OUCH. He landed face first onto the driveway. Thank God he is fine. The DR told us what to watch for and after his nap he was back to his old vibrant self again.

Feels like Egypt around here

At the time of the plagues that is. Lately it's been quite common to be sweeping or mopping the floor and come across one or two or three jumping frogs and toads. I don't know how Middle Son smuggles them in so ingeniously, I don't think I even want to know. I just know when he's coming back in the house he has this "I-did-something-bad" face on. But try as I might, I even frisked him once, I just can not find the toads/frogs! So, we'll deal with the occassional jumping creature, at least he's not smuggling in locusts. ;-)

OK so those of you that have known me for at least 4 years know what fun my Middle Son was as a baby. He liked to eat things. Especially things that weren't supossed to be eaten like pennies and medicine and carpet cleaning fluids. :-/ He also liked to climb high and too many times fall high. Oldest Son was like this too but he calmed down so much as he grew that it seems like a faint blurry memory. We have been to the ER with the first 2 boys at least 5 times combined. Probably more. My girls had their share of scary times but it was more natural things like ear infections & high fevers.

Enter Baby T. I'm not quite sure why I was given so many daredevil children but I'm not going to question God on it. I'm grateful for them all and love them more than anything but well, I am banking on a lot of gray this year.

The other night while I was cooking dinner Baby T and my 3yo were playing with the oversized rocks and gems I keep in a large coffee can. They like to sort them and count them and make up games with them. For some reason the scoop I have in there for the kids was a small glass bowl, like the kind you keep Betta fish in. You know that saying "Hindsight is 20/20"? Yeah, it's a bitch sometimes isn't it?

So he's standing on the chair with my 3yo DD playing nicely. I have my back to them cooking at the stove. I turn around to check on them just in time to see baby T fall off the chair with the bowl in his hand. I run over to him and pick him up and immediately see the stream of blood splattering onto the floor. I do what any self respected concerned mother would do, scream for DH (who has had prior medical training) to get in there. Now I'm good in emergencies, only if I'm the only one there. Otherwise I gladly give the medical reigns over to DH and I become The Nurturer. DH takes ones look and says he's going to need stitches, I try to make the room stop spinning. Thank God my dad is here because he was able to clean up the mess, finish dinner and watch the kids so we could go to the ER.

So let me fast forward through the waiting. We got great doctors and nurses for the most part. When they put in the stitches he cried but laid perfectly still. He was a trooper. Six stitches later DH is insisting I buy all kinds of pain meds for him at the store. I'm trying to tell him I don't think the baby is going to even miss a beat tomorrow but DH is thinking in terms of us adults and how much this would have affected us. Sure enough, by the next morning the baby hardly even mentions his "owie" and has adapted to use his forearm to climb up the playground instead of his hand. THey are simply amazing! The only time he gets upset is when we unwrap it to clean it he says "BUGGY! BUGGY!" because he thinks his stitches are bugs I'm assuming. LoL He really is a trooper.

When we followed up with the DR the first thing he said was "So this little guy is giving you a run for your money eh?" and I told him if he was anything like his brothers he hasn't seen the last of him.

A token of his (hillbilly) affection

My 9yo runs into the house from outside and says, "Mom, I made something for you!" I tell him to wait one second while I finish the dishes and he goes to wait outside. This usually inantimate child is BUBBLING with anticipation as I come outside to see, what could possibly get him so riled up to show me. I follow him behind the laundry shed where I see a heart, carefully drawn (by liquid) in the sandy dirt back there. I'm a loser so my first words were, "Where'd you get the water? Did you bring the cup back inside" Yeah, I know - but I'd just spent an hour collecting silverware from the air/heating ducts and cups from the bathtub and so forth so cut me some slack. His little face falls a little and he seems hesitant to answer. I started to ask again, "Honey, where did you get the wa----Oh. That's not water is it son?"

"No, it's p.e.e - I had to go really bad and couldn't hold it so I made a heart for you!" He was back to full happy animation again.

Er, um. I fought EVERY bit of my mothers city-girl blood I have in me and I swallowed hard. I envisioned my child on a psychiatrists couch one day talking about how mean and unappreciative I am. So, I grit my teeth in a perma-smile and said, "Oh, that's really sweet honey. But next time, if you absolutely have to go outdoors, could you go in the corner or something?" "OK mom". And he runs off playing, happy and oblivious to my inner turmoil.

Please tell me my child will not be proposing to his girlfriend one day colorfully in the snow?