My grandmother has always been quite the cool cat. The groovy chick. The grandma from... well, you get the idea. Now, don't get it all wrong, she's no Proverbs 31 woman but on a worldly level she's just a fun person. Sometimes she means to be funny and sometimes it's an accident. But we always laugh and she laughs right with us. She's one of my favorite people in this world, definately one of the most colorful characters in my life.
So we're on the phone yesterday and she doesn't quite get the cell phone concept so she always pauses then ignores it when I tell her I'm driving or shopping or whatnot. That's great in itself. We're talking as I'm driving and I hear her yell &*$%!!! <--- enter expletive that begins with "s" here. She tells me to hold on and I hear beeping along with her yelling in the background, *#$&* #*$&(# this stupid (#*$#(* thing!!! You're such a pain in the #$#!!!!!!). She comes back to tell me that the smoke alarms always go off when she cooks. Ummm yelling at them doesn't usually make them stop. ;-) We continue talking and my phone dies. I put it on the charger and call her back and she says in an annoyed voice, "I don't know what happened, would you believe the operator cut in?! The nerve! She said 'the number I was calling was not in service to please try again', WHAT IS SHE NUTS?!?!?!" I try to stifle my laughter as my fondness for her and her grandma'isms grow. I didn't bother to tell her the operator was a recording, she wouldn't have believed me anyway.
Do you guys have a relative like this?
Showing posts with label Grandma-isms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grandma-isms. Show all posts
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
This was too great not to share...
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
My grandmother. (PG13)
Oh my grandma is a 5ft 8 child. She was the only adult who would spend hours on end playing games with me and never complain. She actually *enjoyed* it. My mother and aunt whisper that there is something mentally wrong with her but I think she just never wanted to grow up and therefore, didn't. She has a lot more fun than most of us do and she never grew up to be an "old fart" or one of those "fuddy duddies" <---- her words.
She's very much alive today and she adds a certain spice to our life. I like to call her frequent faux paux's "grandma-ism"s.
I'm going to share a few random Grandmaisms with you. Some are stories, some are words, some are things that if anyone else said them you'd go pale and smack them. But g'ma is well, grandma. Set in her ways, harmless in that she speaks better in front of the kids, & very lovable despite the non-pc things that come out of her mouth sometimes.
So my first memory of my grandma saying strange things was when we went camping together Upstate, NY and she let one rip in the middle of the night and I heard her exclaim to my grandfather, "Ooooooooh Bud - that was a flabbergasser!!" My cousin and I could NOT contain our laughter for a long time that night.
Then I remember often as a child waking up to her singing, in her Edith Bunker voice (I'm not crappin' ya folks - she could be a voice-in for her!), "Ohhhhhhh what a beautiful mornin'... Oh what a beautiful day!!!". She was relentless. She just stood there at the kitchen window bellowing it out until my grandfather and I begrudingly joined her int he kitchen.
In Jr. High I had a friend come visit her house with me and my friend didn't want to get in the pool, she said it was too cold. She stayed with a towel wrapped around her on the pool deck. I was pretty bored with her not coming in and my grandma knew it so while my friend was standing there grandma just pushed her in, towel and all. Umm my friend didn't think it was funny. I still do. ;-)
High School. She drove me home from school somedays and we had to pass a house of one of my ex-boyfriends. She knew I was really pissed of at this guy and so she asked which house was his. I pointed to the house and my innocent, church going, singing grandma promptly rolled down the window, blasted her horn and gave him the finger. !!!!
That's when I got a clue that she was more fun then I had ever suspected. ;-)
When I was dating my husband I had to break the news to her that he was half Cuban. I didn't know how she would handle it. Her mother and father were strict Germans and honestly I'm not proud of some of my ancestry or what they did in the states. My grandma loves everyone but she has these assanine prejudices that you just can't get out of her head. So, I was a bit nervous when I told her. She already knew and loved DH but no one ever knows he's Cuban just by looking at him. She looked at me for a minute, pondered it awhile and finally said, "Well, I've never been to Puerto Rico but I hear it's beautiful". Clueless! That's one DH and I still use today. ;-)
So I'm pregnant with my first child and I came over to visit after the sonogram. "What does he look like?" she asks as if it's like a photograph. I couldn't help myself. I said, "Well, he was playing the bongos so we're thinking of calling him Ricky Ricardo" And she looked at me for a moment and shook her head at me. Yeah, she can dish it but she doesn't take it so well about half the time.
Oh - I almost forgot! In high school she gave me her car, put her ailing dog to sleep and moved to Florida after my grandfather died. Two weeks later, complaining of the intense heat she came back and took her car back from me. So it shouldn't have been a surprise the other day on the phone when she asked me if I could mail her back the hook latch she sent me. I wasn't doing it fast enough and she wanted something to do with her hands anyway. I rushed it out to her right away and when she got it asked if she started working on it. "Oh no!" she says, "My hands are too bad right now, It will have to wait awhile" *sigh*
OK so what prompted me to write this post? Another grandma-ism my mom shared with me recently. My great aunt in-law (g'ma's brothers wife) is from Great Britain (or somewhere around there). Apparently she has a British accent which is to be expected! My grandma was complaining to my mom on the phone that her brother put his wife on the phone and "...she still had that Limey accent". My mom sort of sighed (she's the most PC woman ever my mom, drives me nuts sometimes). My grandma wasn't done: "Yeah, I just don't understand why she has to talk like that! Like she's better than everyone else. I mean, this is America, learn to speak English!!!"
Anyone else see the irony in that statement? Oh my she keeps us all entertained.
*disclaimer* I love my grandma more than words. I take good care of her. I listen to her. I talk to her. I send her things. I genuinely love being with her. But man she's just plain nuts sometimes. ;-)
She's very much alive today and she adds a certain spice to our life. I like to call her frequent faux paux's "grandma-ism"s.
I'm going to share a few random Grandmaisms with you. Some are stories, some are words, some are things that if anyone else said them you'd go pale and smack them. But g'ma is well, grandma. Set in her ways, harmless in that she speaks better in front of the kids, & very lovable despite the non-pc things that come out of her mouth sometimes.
So my first memory of my grandma saying strange things was when we went camping together Upstate, NY and she let one rip in the middle of the night and I heard her exclaim to my grandfather, "Ooooooooh Bud - that was a flabbergasser!!" My cousin and I could NOT contain our laughter for a long time that night.
Then I remember often as a child waking up to her singing, in her Edith Bunker voice (I'm not crappin' ya folks - she could be a voice-in for her!), "Ohhhhhhh what a beautiful mornin'... Oh what a beautiful day!!!". She was relentless. She just stood there at the kitchen window bellowing it out until my grandfather and I begrudingly joined her int he kitchen.
In Jr. High I had a friend come visit her house with me and my friend didn't want to get in the pool, she said it was too cold. She stayed with a towel wrapped around her on the pool deck. I was pretty bored with her not coming in and my grandma knew it so while my friend was standing there grandma just pushed her in, towel and all. Umm my friend didn't think it was funny. I still do. ;-)
High School. She drove me home from school somedays and we had to pass a house of one of my ex-boyfriends. She knew I was really pissed of at this guy and so she asked which house was his. I pointed to the house and my innocent, church going, singing grandma promptly rolled down the window, blasted her horn and gave him the finger. !!!!
That's when I got a clue that she was more fun then I had ever suspected. ;-)
When I was dating my husband I had to break the news to her that he was half Cuban. I didn't know how she would handle it. Her mother and father were strict Germans and honestly I'm not proud of some of my ancestry or what they did in the states. My grandma loves everyone but she has these assanine prejudices that you just can't get out of her head. So, I was a bit nervous when I told her. She already knew and loved DH but no one ever knows he's Cuban just by looking at him. She looked at me for a minute, pondered it awhile and finally said, "Well, I've never been to Puerto Rico but I hear it's beautiful". Clueless! That's one DH and I still use today. ;-)
So I'm pregnant with my first child and I came over to visit after the sonogram. "What does he look like?" she asks as if it's like a photograph. I couldn't help myself. I said, "Well, he was playing the bongos so we're thinking of calling him Ricky Ricardo" And she looked at me for a moment and shook her head at me. Yeah, she can dish it but she doesn't take it so well about half the time.
Oh - I almost forgot! In high school she gave me her car, put her ailing dog to sleep and moved to Florida after my grandfather died. Two weeks later, complaining of the intense heat she came back and took her car back from me. So it shouldn't have been a surprise the other day on the phone when she asked me if I could mail her back the hook latch she sent me. I wasn't doing it fast enough and she wanted something to do with her hands anyway. I rushed it out to her right away and when she got it asked if she started working on it. "Oh no!" she says, "My hands are too bad right now, It will have to wait awhile" *sigh*
OK so what prompted me to write this post? Another grandma-ism my mom shared with me recently. My great aunt in-law (g'ma's brothers wife) is from Great Britain (or somewhere around there). Apparently she has a British accent which is to be expected! My grandma was complaining to my mom on the phone that her brother put his wife on the phone and "...she still had that Limey accent". My mom sort of sighed (she's the most PC woman ever my mom, drives me nuts sometimes). My grandma wasn't done: "Yeah, I just don't understand why she has to talk like that! Like she's better than everyone else. I mean, this is America, learn to speak English!!!"
Anyone else see the irony in that statement? Oh my she keeps us all entertained.
*disclaimer* I love my grandma more than words. I take good care of her. I listen to her. I talk to her. I send her things. I genuinely love being with her. But man she's just plain nuts sometimes. ;-)
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