Quagmire lives here

Today we visited one of our local rent-to-own-but-give-us-half-your-salary-in-digestable-bites-and-your-first-born-child-too-please places. Usually these places are full of polite but sleazy salesmen who would tell you anything to make a buck. And I can't blame them really, I imagine the pay isn't that great.

So I admire a sectional couch they had and here comes Bubba*, the snake oil salesman. I brace myself and plaster a smile and say hello. He asks if I'm looking for anything specific and I said we were looking for a livingroom set. What Bubba does next shocks me, instead or laying it on thick and making up some story on how this couch is magical and will make all my dreams come true he looks at it, looks back to me and says, "This couch really isn't comfortable. I'm not supossed to say things like that but I'm honest and it isn't." Eyeing him strangely I'm trying to decipher if this is a reverse pyschology move. But he's telling the truth, I sat down and it really wasn't. So we moved on to the next couch, and the next, and the next. Finally his boss comes over and asks what I'm looking for. We tell him and he said there's a sectional in the back. He starts to tell me to follow him but Bubba interrupts and says he'll take me. So, we go back and look at this piece of junk and on the way back to the front I whisper to Bubba, "Do you watch Family Guy?" He tells me yes and I say, "Your boss is Quagmire" to which he doesn't miss a beat and says, "He acts just like him too! I won't let him alone with the female customers."

Later DH came in to look at a few things and Bubba comes over to show us that $600 has already been paid for on this particular couch. So I say to Geo, loudly for Bubba to overhear, "OK so instead of paying 3 times as much in the end we'll only pay twice as much what it's worth" Bubba leans in to us both and says, "Yeah, pretty much" Oh the poor boy needs to find a more ethical job, he's a good guy.

So anyway on the way out Quagmire holds open the door. He actually transformed into the cartoon character before my eyes as he comments each of my girls on how pretty they are and winks at me. He even had the VOICE down!

I wonder if he had Barry White CD's in his truck. I think I caught him saying, "Alll riiight" as we left the store.