The prettiest vase ever

OK - I think I have to start handing out pamphlets to everyone I meet. No, not the "Where Will You Go When You Die" sort - I'm more of a I'm-not-perfect-just-forgiven-praise-God-for-Grace type of Christian. I'm talking about a warning letter of sorts, or maybe a right-to-release form that informs them that anything they do, say, or even think in front of me could be and probably will be (esp if it's embarrassing) blogged by yours truly. It will be embellished, told from my warped angle, and there for all the world (well OK, my 7 readers) to see. I did go ahead and warn the woman that told me this story that she, most likely, will be my next victim subject. But she's real cool, and I found out last night, has a strong ornery streak so I'm sure she can handle it. I'm going to call her Blondie for reasons that will be quite clear by the end of the story. ;-)

Blondie is an avid horse lover. She owns at least one (I believe 2) and rides often. One day (years ago) she was riding along in the great state of Texas, along a major road. She spotted something glinting in the sun and got off her horse to inspect it. She was thrilled to find, in her words, "The most beautiful blue vase I'd had ever seen". She picked it up, was excited that it didn't seem broken and got back on her horse. She demonstrated how she held it away from her body and the horse to keep it from breaking because it was thin. She was kind of holding it out, as you would to display something. After a tedious ride home, protecting her precious new find she yelled for her husband to come out of their home. He came over to her and she asked if he'd take the vase so she was sure it wouldn't break while she got off her horse. He took it and when she got off the horse she noticed he was laughing. Perplexed she asked what in the world was so funny and he asked her if she knew what this was. She told him it was the prettiest blue vase she'd ever seen and she was going to clean it out and use it. He laughed even harder and asked her to smell it. She said it smelled like cigars - she'd wash it out and it would be fine. Finally he's laughing so hard he can barely speak and he tells her what she so carefully brought home was not a vase. It was rather a very beautiful, thin, blue, bong. She was riding down a major road holding, for all the world to see, a bong! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA! She says to this day when they pass a florist her husbands asks if she'd like a blue vase. ;-)

LOL!!! Oh man I love you Blondie, thanks for the great laughs last night - she's full of great stories like that. It was a fun cookout! lol