Leading is not dominating

OK this is why I need to write things down. One of my kids said something snarky or silly today and I remember thinking "definately gotta blog that one!" and alas, it's completely slipped my mind. *sigh*

Went to a really sweet luncheon today. The older women in the church had us younger moms come over and they spoiled us rotten with healthy food (some covered in chocolate), punch, hand waxing, nail polishing, & free homemade lotions. Someone commented on the food at the same time I commented on the atmosphere and it came out sounding like "chocolate covered peace & quiet". Doesn't that sound nice? Isn't that every mama's dream? lol

OK so I've been reading a GREAT book called Husbands Who Wont Lead and Wives Who Wont Follow . Something I read this morning really stuck with me all day. DH and I talked about it because he was raised in a household of STRONG women and I was raised by a feminist so we like to keep each other in check of what we're rebelling against or becoming like because of our childhoods. Add to that the traditional Christian outlook on husband/wife and we just end up confused! But the book made me realize there is no domination required to be a submissive wife. We are equals and it's OK to say that out loud and shave my armpits. ;-) In 1 Corinthinians 11:11-12 Apostle Paul writes, "In the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God. "

Wow.

I have heard the arguement from chauvanistic men (extreme ones, I'm all for a manly man ladies) that women came from men, therefore they must be inferior. We *must* do as they wish and serve them hand and foot. But man is BORN from woman. The circle is complete. We are equals, without one we couldn't have the other. I have never seen it so plain before.

Men should be leaders. I believe that. I believe it's a natural born thing for men to protect, lead, prosper. Just as I believe it's a natural born thing for a woman to nurture, care for, & prosper. We're, as a majority, built that way. But as the book says, Leadership does not mean dominating.

"For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male or female; for you are all one in Christ". Galations 3:27-28

And finally Matthew 20:25-28 tells us "You know that rulers of the gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoeer wishes to become first among you shall be your slave; just as the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."

The answer is right there folks! Plain to see. DH and I talked about how if we did more for each other, without expecting anything back, both of us, how things would be so much smoother. We should be caring for each other always, in every way. If we're both doing our jobs we'll both be fulfilled, happy, even able to serve others. Our cups will overflow! It's not a 1 sided deal. What a revelation. Of course it's more difficult to put into practice. Like DH said we both have expectations of the other and it will take time to put those aside and just do things because.

Let me leave you with this beautiful quote. Now we do believe in spanking but we believe it should be the last means, not the common ground. And I'm a yeller so this was really good for me to read.

"Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by the art of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived by the fear of punishment." ~ Mohandas Gandhi

What wise words. Ones I have not lived by and will take time to process and develop. Probably because it's a lot harder to use love as a motivation than it is to use fear. Don't get me wrong, I love my children & husband and they know it. It's just I've felt like I've lost control of things a lot time ago and have been putting out fires for way too long now. I want to create an environment where the fires don't even have the tools to begin.

Blessings...