My grandma's da bomb yo!

My grandmother has always been quite the cool cat. The groovy chick. The grandma from... well, you get the idea. Now, don't get it all wrong, she's no Proverbs 31 woman but on a worldly level she's just a fun person. Sometimes she means to be funny and sometimes it's an accident. But we always laugh and she laughs right with us. She's one of my favorite people in this world, definately one of the most colorful characters in my life.

So we're on the phone yesterday and she doesn't quite get the cell phone concept so she always pauses then ignores it when I tell her I'm driving or shopping or whatnot. That's great in itself. We're talking as I'm driving and I hear her yell &*$%!!! <--- enter expletive that begins with "s" here. She tells me to hold on and I hear beeping along with her yelling in the background, *#$&* #*$&(# this stupid (#*$#(* thing!!! You're such a pain in the #$#!!!!!!). She comes back to tell me that the smoke alarms always go off when she cooks. Ummm yelling at them doesn't usually make them stop. ;-) We continue talking and my phone dies. I put it on the charger and call her back and she says in an annoyed voice, "I don't know what happened, would you believe the operator cut in?! The nerve! She said 'the number I was calling was not in service to please try again', WHAT IS SHE NUTS?!?!?!" I try to stifle my laughter as my fondness for her and her grandma'isms grow. I didn't bother to tell her the operator was a recording, she wouldn't have believed me anyway.

Do you guys have a relative like this?

Negatives...

Alright so I'm at.my.wits.end tonight. I had gotten a full day of school in, prepared 3 meals plus snacks. Played with the kids, read to them, did everything that I could possibly have done and I was just plum worn out. Because ya know, kids keep taking because they just don't have empathy yet. Well, my 10yo does and my 8yo is capable of it but the 6, 4, & 2yo - not a trace of it yet. So I'm into full lecture mode in the van as we went to surprise daddy at work with a homemade grilled steak and potato dinner. I'm telling them that I'm grateful for the help they provide but that they cannot continue to take advantage and it's not fair for mom to clean up or have to yell at them to clean up their mess. I'm sure they heard blah...blah...blah... But I was done. I was ranting and raving, bordering on tears and my 10 & 8yo know enough to just shut up and listen. They have the wisdom. When I'm done talking at them my 10yo says, "Mom, you are always telling us how important it is to look at the positives in every situation. Why are you bringing so many negatives up now?". *sigh* How can you argue with that?

Later I'll write about my reflections on bathrooms and kids. LOL

The joys of life

Here is baby T (not looking so babyish anymore!) watching his favorite clip in the "Oobie" show we have recorded. He cracks all of us up all the time!

Enjoy!

Quote of the day

From my 8yo DD to her brother (10) while they're doing math work at the table. She is reflecting out loud as she does her work:

"One day we might thank mom for this (work).... or not.".

Weaning has been rough on me...

I thought I was weaning my son but truth is, I'm weaning myself. It was harder on me than it was on him I think. It still is hard. He's my last baby. Before him I was usually pregnant when I weaned and I knew there would be another sweet baby to come and watch grow. There's something about nursing. When I was young and naive I looked upon it even as a gross thing. Almost a perverse thing. But when I had children of my own I realized how ignorant that was. What a special and unique bond it is. God knew what he was doing. He creates hormones to both make baby happy and content to stay still & mama too. It's a strong bonding experience. On a lighter note, it's almost equivalent to that first buzz you get if you ever had drinking days. Everything is right with the world. On top of all that you get the satisfaction of knowing you are sustaining life. By yourself. I always thought that was a blessing and confidence booster! I can honestly say 75% or more of my nursing days were enjoyable once I got past the social mores of the world and became confident in the beautiful thing is really is.

When I had my first son 10 years ago I was embarrassed by breastfeeding, even resentful of it because it took me away from everyone. I went into the bathroom in public, dressing rooms, I isolated myself in other peoples homes. By the time my daughter was born I was more confident and nowadays I can nurse like MacGyver - just give me a blanket & my teeth - I don't need any stinkin' hands. LOL And you wouldn't even know what was going on. ;-)

So, it's been a journey for me, 5 children, almost 8 years long (I didn't start extended nursing until my 4th child). I've grown so much, I've been pregnant, with newborn, going to school, teaching school, but I've always been nursing. It's been part of who I am, what I'm used to. But, I recognized that for baby T and I it had become a dependency issue. And I didn't enjoy being just his food supply. He was actually rude to me unless I was feeding at times. And then he started gorging himself and making himself sick. So, it was definately time. And it was definately harder on me than it was on him. He's already stopped asking. Which partly makes me want to cry and partly makes me proud. It's bittersweet.

I think while I'm really reflecting here I'm realizing it's the first huge step for me of the process of letting go. I know there are going to be harder steps in the future. I just hope I always can be selfless enough to look past my own emotions and put my children first. When we're not mutually benefitting anymore from something it's time to let it go. Am I on to something older moms? Is it going to be this hard every step of the way?

Is it too late to say I don't think I'm qualified for the job? LOL

So anyway, all this to share a poem I wrote during what I call my grieving process. It's all just so final and I needed a way to express myself. Some of you may be able to relate.


If you fell down all I had to do,
was say one special word to you.
When it was late & sleepiness crept in,
One word and out came that sweet drowsy grin.
On those wee morning hours with just you and I,
That word always made you happily sigh.
Cold afternoons just before you would nap,
One word brought warmth and rest with a snap.
I will always cherish these moments, my beautiful son,
The moments you called on with the word "mum".
This chapter may be over in both of our lives,
But I will always remember & treasure, your sweet nursing eyes.

Great imagination...

My oldest is 10 and he has a quick wit about him. The kind of wit that's fun when other people's kids have it, but not always as amusing when it's your own. Especially when they're still in the stages of figuring out what's taboo and what "good timing" is. For example, when mom has asked you to go to bed 5 times, it's probably NOT a good time to play a practical joke. I try so hard to keep calm and rational so I don't crush his spirits. Lately I've really been trying to appreciate him and his humor and who he is becoming as a person. With 5 it's easy to just clump them together into one herd of children but they really are 5 special & unique people. It's awesome.

So today, when the stick-in-the-mud side of me grew frustrated that he brought humor into his schooling, the gentler softer side of me knew that it was time to loosen up and laugh. He really is a funny kid!

The following is a drawing (using Paint, he much prefers doing things on the computer) my oldest did when prompted to draw the characters of the story of Anansi the spider, a character from West African lore we read about in our Story of the Word curriculum today. The kids were asked to draw a picture of Anansi with a banana, potato, & a few grains of rice. This was my sons interpretation. He thought the potato he tried to draw looked like Elvis and then the rice grain he drew first looked like it had glasses. I thought the banana was especially good and he added the words to a song we used to sing all the time when he was really little.

Why I love TiVo...

This may not get me Mother of the Year (go ahead, click on it if you dare), but it gets me 30 minutes of peace and 2 hands which I desperately need in the morning for school. Just for the record, I never thought one of MY children (read that with your nose turned up in the air) would be like this with ANY show, or toy, or blanket, or other pacifying object other than myself. HA! So, unless you have more than 2 children, of have done this already yourself, I don't want to hear it. I could go back to the past and hear myself judge me! lol

I apologize ahead of time for my baby voice, the firewood in front of the TV, the laundry hamper (hey, it's almost empty), and the 1 Christmas item we did put up this year still on top of the TV. Alright, now you may watch, hehe.

And just to show you how much he gets into it:

I'm just glad although he likes that Oobi show, he doesn't like it as much as The Upside Down Show. I can't handle Oobi and it's stupid smacking sounds when it eats. I want to send Oobi to a country that resorts to cutting hands off for stealing. I'd make Oobi steal.