Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hut!

Our littlest, practicing to be just like his oldest brother. ;-)

Monday, September 17, 2007

A typical day out...

The following conversation took place at the Post Office last week:

PO Worker: Hey kids, did you have a good day at school today?

Kids (a few in unison): We're homeschooled

Mom: *grimace* (plastering smile)

PO Worker: Oh, well, did you have a good day?

Kids: Yeah

Post Worker: What did you do today?

Oldest 2: We didn't do ANY work

Mom: *sigh*

PO Worker: (puzzled look)

Mom: Today was actually cleaning and errand day

PO Worker: Ohhhhhhhh did mom make you help clean?

Kids: (grumbling) Yes, we had to clean a lot.

PO Worker: Well, that's sort of like school then.

-----------------------------

Same Post Office, same visit.

PO WorkerHow old are you guys?

Kids: All giving their ages

DD7: And mom is...

Mom: (insert dd7's name here in a warning tone)

PO Worker: After women get to a certain age it's not polite to tell it to anyone

DD7: She's 29!

DS10: (to his sister) Next time just say "She's old".

Mom: *sigh*

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And yes, I know 29 is young (even though in kid years I'm a dinosaur) which is precisely why I don't like to share it! Envision frazzled woman with 5 dishelveled children proclaiming they've done no work today. Don't forget there are 3 different hair colors in my brood, 2 blues eyed, 2 brown eyed, and 1 hazel. Add my age in and people probably start thinking they've seen me on one of Maury Povich's "Who's yer daddy" segments.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

This was too great not to share...

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much ... I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."

Monday, September 3, 2007

My brothers take on country folk

I have one brother. We'll call him "E" here. He's the best thing that came out of moms temporary insanity to leave NY and meet his father, we'll refer to him as JD for Joe Dirt. She met Joe Dirt in an recovery chat room. Yeah, 'nuff said. He sent her pics of him on his Harley with long hair and she was sold. She dusted off her soul she had hung in the closet years ago when she met her then boyfriend, put it back on and hightailed it out of there, hours after my wedding. What JD didn't tell her is that his motorcycle had been traded in for dozens of useless Scout parts that littered his drive and that his long hair was in actuality, a mullet. So there she was living in the middle of nowhere with JD, 2 dogs, and nothing but the Arkansas countryside. Her new favorite pasttime was running snakes over back and forth and laughing manicially. We were all pretty worried about her. My MIL said to me one day, "Don't worry honey, you know I will always be here for you". Even the in-laws were scared.

But after some long summer days in Arkansas the honeymoon was over. She came to visit me in Florida where DH & I were living at the time and told me the news. More surprised at the fact she was keeping the baby than her being pregnant at all I was elated! I had always wanted a brother, even if he'd be 1.5 years younger than my oldest child. ;-) She had him in Texas one bright April day with JD hiding in the corner and my oldest son and I there by her side. By then I was pregnant with our second child who *E* is 7 months older than. Anyone feeling like singing "I Am My Own Grandpa" yet?

So anyway *E* spent most of his life in Southern Oklahoma aka "deep country livin'", like you've stepped into a time machine and went back 30 years kind of living. My mom went back to work when he was about 1 and she's still with the same company and is really good at what she does. Last year she was offered a promotion which included a transfer to Ohio. She jumped at the chance of more money and civilization again and they've been living quite happily there, my brother and her. She's pretty much eradicated the hillbilly from him and what's interesting is how he's slowly forgetting anything about the South. I embrace the very things they are more than happy to leave behind.

So mom calls the other day and tells me out of nowhere *E* tells her, "Mom, I think *J* & *G* (dh) must fart a LOT!" My mom cannot see where this is going at all and asks what in the world he means. He tells her very matter-of-factly, "Well, country people fart a lot and J & G are definately country. So they must fart a lot. In fact, mom I hate to say it but well...mom... they're hillbillies, that's just a fact."

I can't wait to go visit the little creep and go all "Cousin Eddie" on him. ;-) Actually I just find it amusing. I adore him but yes, he's becoming quite the snob in his ripe old age of 8.

I'd take a happy laid back fartin' hillbilly any day. I bet Jesus would have hung out with hillbillies. ;-)