OK so it's ummmmmmm...been awhile!

Please forgive me! I think my problem with blogging is that I make everything SO darn complex I don't know WHICH part to blog about! I feel like I have a zillion roles and it would take me hours each day to get all my thoughts out. And I'm not good at condensing things or taking the time to edit so... Chaos! That's me and oddly chaos is peaceful to me, I'm most comfortable there. ;-)

OK so yesterday I started my new get-back-into-shape routine. I haven't been feeling that great lately, and I'm not getting younger OR thinner and so it's time. I don't want to be in pain or immobile when I'm older and I don't think it has to be that way , if I take care of myself NOW before it's too late. Is it ever too late? So.. thanks to my awesome Christmas gift from my awesome Hubby I now have a Wii Fit to keep me accountable! That tracks my weight and BMI and I'm able to do Yoga, Strength Exercise, Balance, & Aerobics daily. I did 30 minutes yesterday (was harder than I thought!). I'm also eating better and ONLY WHEN I'm hungry. Do you know how HARD that is?!??! It's ridiculous really. Tonight after I took a much needed nap I woke up and wandered to the kitchen. I opened the fridge 2 or 3 times and then talked myself out of eating because when I took the time to pay attention to how I felt, I wasn't HUNGRY! But I thought I should be so I kept going in the kitchen looking. I don't know why even now, I'm thinknig about the salad I will eat when I *am* hungry. It's not going anywhere, it will be there when I am hungry! It's perplexing to me... I have been drinking a LOT of tea lately and had some to emotionally satisfy me until I am hungry.

SO, our family is plagued by illness this Christmas again. DH is down, DS#1 is down, DS#5 is down. DS#3 has a weird rash. My DD's got over it fast though and so did I ('cept for the cough) so let's pray it stays that way. My dad (who is currently living with us) is also down pretty hard by this illness. I thought I'd be more antsy than I am but I'm actually quite content staying in before our weeks go back to their regularly scheduled programming. DH will be back in school, the kids activities will be back in full swing... It's nice to just *relax* for awhile. :-)

So I have some pretty big news that I think is OK for me to blog. My best friend, the one that has been battling cancer, her and her husband asked Geo and I to consider my being a surrogate for them about a year ago. By the Grace of God and some miracles of modern medicine her tumors have been dying and stabilizing and it looks like a very real possibility that we will be able to carry their child for them. I can't imagine a more special gift than to be able to provide them with something they want so badly. I hope to blog regularly on my surrogacy journey. That's another reason I'm trying very hard to get into shape again (if I ever was), the thought of being pregnant again is very motivating! lol

We lost a dear cousin on Christmas morning. Please keep Johns family in your prayers. Johnny and I have corresponded VIA e-mail for years and he really wanted Gods peace. He was a troubled soul but he was a loving, funny, smart, amazing person. His daughter Gabriella was his whole world and it's gut wrenching news to us all that we lost him. DH and Johnny grew up together, just a few years apart, and did a lot together. The news still hasn't hit DH fully yet, he hasn't really gotten to grieve over his loss quite yet. Please pray for DH to process and heal as well.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Great news, terrible news, that's life right? I read soemthing recently that said God NEVER gives us his second best and that's comforting to me. The world is a messed up place yes, and there are consequences to evil all the time (even if we aren't the ones doing evil) but God is there and his love never changes or gets any more or less...

God bless & Hugs,
J

Happy 11!

When I first brought our oldest child home, I was a nervous wreck. I was young, inexperienced, and scared! Here was this itty bitty person in MY hands. That kind of responsibility was terrifying to me. I was OK when DH was home. But the first day he returned to work I cried my eyes out. I felt inadequate and like there's no possible way I could do this. Be a good mom. I was even afraid to undress and dress him, I felt like he would break!

But, he and I learned together. With a lot of help from DH I grew confident and enjoyed watching this little guy, our son, not only sustain but GROW

And grow...

...and grow...

...and grow...- before our very eyes. I loved watching him walk (at 10 months!). I loved hearing "mama" (although dada came first of course). I loved the way he looked at me and only me in that way. He was completely in love and so was I. I learned to embrace and treasure the bond of motherhood.

Our family grew too!

I've gotten to carry, birth, breastfeed, & enjoy 4 more children after our first. And they've all brought something to my life. But I will always treasure my learning experience with our first. Even the mistakes. ;-)

So now, I'm learning how to raise a pre-teen. And he's learning how to balance becoming a young man and staying a child. Being a big brother and being the oldest child. And he does both Gracefully...

...most of the time.

When he goes to bed at night with questions or fears he asks me to give him the chapter of the Bible that will help those questions/fears. Then we discuss what he reads, sometimes for hours. He loves football (playing and creating plays), drawing, learning the drums at band, learning guitar with grandpa, singing at church, acting at the community theater, wrestling with his baby brother. But above all he loves God. And that's awesome.

Happy Birthday sweety! We are SO proud of you!

Just 1 out of 5 reasons I haven't been blogging much...

This summer we've been B-U-S-Y... but it's been good. :-)

OK this cracks me up!

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Realization "quiz" - feel free to post your own!

realization

1. i've come to realize that my behind: Is probably always going to be the last thing to thin out.

2. i've come to realize that when i talk: I need to choose my words more carefully.

3. i've come to realize that if i love someone: They almost always love me back.

4. i've come to realize that i need: My intimacy with God

5. i've come to realize that i lost: My inability to function in the mornings (yay)

6. i've come to realize that i hate it when: I let my emotions rule my actions/words.

7. i've come to realize that, if i'm drunk: I'm drunk on love. ;-)

8. i've come to realize that marriage: Takes 2 to perservere, and it's a LOT of rewarding & consistent work.

9. i've come to realize that i really: Value and enjoy people (most days)

10. i've come to realize that i'll always be: Struggling to become my best self.

11. i've come to realize that i like: Raw food! yay, who'd have thunk it?!

12. i've come to realize that the last time i cried was: Last week at the park with friends talking about DH's dad leaving him so young.

13. i've come to realize that my cell phone is: Probably slowly harming me but pretty impossible to live without.

14. i've come to realize that when i wake up in the morning: I enjoy getting out of bed!

15. i've come to realize that before i go to sleep at night: . I always have to stand in each of the kids bedrooms and pray for their protection.

16. i've come to realize that now i'm thinking about: Getting some much needed sleep and my jam-packed day tomorrrow.

17. i've come to realize that babies: Grow up WAY too fast.

18. i've come to realize that, when i get on Myspace: I look forward to seeing if I have new messages or comments.

19. I've come to realize that today: Was not as chaotic as I expected, there were many blessings throughout it.

20. i've come to realize that tonight i will: Go hold my husband and go to sleep.

21. i've come to realize that tomorrow i will: Go to lunch/library coffee tasting with an old friend, take the kids to the magician, & do my Home & Garden Party.

22. i've come to realize that i really want: For my husband to realize how special he is.

I don't care who you are...

...this is GOOD!

Photo taken at this months raw food class - yum!

***Updated to include name of the recipe book used for ~V~***

They use different books every time. This week was Dining in the Raw by Rita Romano There were tons of recipes and they all looked easy and delicious!

Good news & bad news

Well... the good news is Cocoa is back home now. He's hyper and cuddly and his old self again. What a relief! Vet says NO table scraps at all for him. We're still not sure exactly what happened. I didn't have to sell any of the kids to pay for the bill though so that's good. It was a very reasonable amount. ;-)

The bad news is that Middle Son *did* in fact break his arm. *sigh* Actually he fractured his Humerus bone up by his shoulder. The very good news is that they don't usually cast for this kind of break and since it's just a hairline fracture and not a complete break he'll only have to be in the sling. The fracture is aligned beautifully and the DR thinks he'll heal fine in 2-3 weeks - wow, the body is an amazing thing! Especially the unaged body. LOL I would have snapped my bone in two! ;-)

The even better news for Middle Son is that DR. H said he can go on any ride in the amusement park this Friday when we go. He was so worried he couldn't go on anything. DR. H said he may be a little sore but he won't injure his arm seriously unless he hangs by it, gets is pulled sharply, or falls far on top of it. This is good news since he's my rambuctious one. I wish I could give him Motrin all day long but I find that if I do that, he uses it too much and is sore later. So, the pain serves as kind of a guide for him on how much to use it. And it's not terrible pain, he's pretty much himself so that's good, he's a tough kid. I give him Motrin at night to help him find a good position to sleep in.

Would you believe that Middle Sons total DR bill (X-Rays included) was about HALF of my vet bill? LOL

Thanks for your thoughts & prayers!

J