Sunday, December 28, 2008

OK so it's ummmmmmm...been awhile!

Please forgive me! I think my problem with blogging is that I make everything SO darn complex I don't know WHICH part to blog about! I feel like I have a zillion roles and it would take me hours each day to get all my thoughts out. And I'm not good at condensing things or taking the time to edit so... Chaos! That's me and oddly chaos is peaceful to me, I'm most comfortable there. ;-)

OK so yesterday I started my new get-back-into-shape routine. I haven't been feeling that great lately, and I'm not getting younger OR thinner and so it's time. I don't want to be in pain or immobile when I'm older and I don't think it has to be that way , if I take care of myself NOW before it's too late. Is it ever too late? So.. thanks to my awesome Christmas gift from my awesome Hubby I now have a Wii Fit to keep me accountable! That tracks my weight and BMI and I'm able to do Yoga, Strength Exercise, Balance, & Aerobics daily. I did 30 minutes yesterday (was harder than I thought!). I'm also eating better and ONLY WHEN I'm hungry. Do you know how HARD that is?!??! It's ridiculous really. Tonight after I took a much needed nap I woke up and wandered to the kitchen. I opened the fridge 2 or 3 times and then talked myself out of eating because when I took the time to pay attention to how I felt, I wasn't HUNGRY! But I thought I should be so I kept going in the kitchen looking. I don't know why even now, I'm thinknig about the salad I will eat when I *am* hungry. It's not going anywhere, it will be there when I am hungry! It's perplexing to me... I have been drinking a LOT of tea lately and had some to emotionally satisfy me until I am hungry.

SO, our family is plagued by illness this Christmas again. DH is down, DS#1 is down, DS#5 is down. DS#3 has a weird rash. My DD's got over it fast though and so did I ('cept for the cough) so let's pray it stays that way. My dad (who is currently living with us) is also down pretty hard by this illness. I thought I'd be more antsy than I am but I'm actually quite content staying in before our weeks go back to their regularly scheduled programming. DH will be back in school, the kids activities will be back in full swing... It's nice to just *relax* for awhile. :-)

So I have some pretty big news that I think is OK for me to blog. My best friend, the one that has been battling cancer, her and her husband asked Geo and I to consider my being a surrogate for them about a year ago. By the Grace of God and some miracles of modern medicine her tumors have been dying and stabilizing and it looks like a very real possibility that we will be able to carry their child for them. I can't imagine a more special gift than to be able to provide them with something they want so badly. I hope to blog regularly on my surrogacy journey. That's another reason I'm trying very hard to get into shape again (if I ever was), the thought of being pregnant again is very motivating! lol

We lost a dear cousin on Christmas morning. Please keep Johns family in your prayers. Johnny and I have corresponded VIA e-mail for years and he really wanted Gods peace. He was a troubled soul but he was a loving, funny, smart, amazing person. His daughter Gabriella was his whole world and it's gut wrenching news to us all that we lost him. DH and Johnny grew up together, just a few years apart, and did a lot together. The news still hasn't hit DH fully yet, he hasn't really gotten to grieve over his loss quite yet. Please pray for DH to process and heal as well.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Great news, terrible news, that's life right? I read soemthing recently that said God NEVER gives us his second best and that's comforting to me. The world is a messed up place yes, and there are consequences to evil all the time (even if we aren't the ones doing evil) but God is there and his love never changes or gets any more or less...

God bless & Hugs,
J